Monday, May 30, 2011

Grab Your Corsages, Feather Your Hair - It's Prom Night!

Forget that you might be reading this at 6:00 am, forget that it's a Monday - just close your eyes, step back in time, and let's go to the Prom!  Our theme tonight is We Will Never Pass This Way Again.  The band will be playing covers by Air Supply, Little River Band, Chicago, and Bread.  Refreshments are on the table in the back of the room, and the Assistant Principal, Mr. Pastorini, will be standing guard to make sure no one spikes the punch.  Have fun...but don't dance too closely!

First up is a blogger double shot - Biz of Biggest Diabetic Loser and her twin sister, Jenn of Slim Shoppin', are pictured here with their dates (and proud mom looking on in the background):
Circa 1986 - Jenn is on the left, Biz is on the right.  How much do I love that Biz matched her date's white dinner jacket outfit?!?  And Jenn is a vision in Madonna-lace.  Awesome!

Next up is Helen of Doing a 180.  She attended both the Prom and the Valentine's Ball with the same date - her next-door neighbor.  Everybody:  awww!
Love the Gunne Sax dress, my sweet baby-faced friend!
And look:  her date even wrote a note on the back of their picture (remember doing that?  I do!):
Dave sounds very sweet, but I hear they lost touch and did not, in fact, stay "friends forever" - wonder if he's on Facebook?

Here we have Stacia from Swimming it Off, with her boyfriend, in 1986:
 Love the look on his face!  Also, his satin vest matches her dress perfectly!
A full shot of Stacia in her dress, with sleeves she "coulda smuggled a gnome in" - I love how blissfully happy she looks in this shot.

Here's Marisa from Loser For Life, in her fabulous 80s big hair and Dynasty-inspired (I'm sure) puffy shoulder dress.  
 
That is quite the nice bouquet of roses you're holding, Marisa - was this your corsage?  Wow! 

Next up is Kelly from Happy Texans, who is wearing a beautiful dress that her very talented mother made!

 Circa 1989 - the year my second son was born (funny how different our lives were back then, and yet how similar they are now).  Kelly, you look so young and gorgeous!

Here is Lynn W from The Frivolity of Forty.  She's wearing a dress her mom made - I'm sensing a theme here!  Pretty in pink, she is:
Circa 1988.  Doesn't her date remind you of an 80s movie star? 

And now we have the most baby-faced couple of all...
My mom and dad!  This was their prom - 1959.  They were 17, but I swear they look even younger!  And in keeping with the theme, my grandmother made my mom's dress!

My mom didn't make my prom dress, but she did make the shirts that my boyfriend and I wore to the Oakie Stomp (the dance where the girl asks the guy):
I have no idea why I wore green socks with that outfit.

Also, in the ultimate act of thriftiness recycling, I borrowed a dress from my friend Gail - she wore it to her prom, and then I wore it to the Winter Ball the following year.  So the question would be "Who Wore it Best" but I think the answer is pretty obvious:
Peach does not go well with my pale skin.  Plus I was just coming off of my anorexia period and was still too thin - doubtful I was even up to 100 pounds in that picture. 

And here's one more picture - from the after-prom party that we went to.  No alcohol-free lock-ins for us!
I worked at Baskin Robbins with the guy who is hugging me.  Also, if you look closely, I am the only one in the picture who is not holding a drink - I was keeping track of the incriminating Polaroids!

Thank you to my fantastic readers who submitted photos - you all looked so young and vibrant and beautiful.  I love that you played along with me in this look back at our FABULOUS teenage style!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Friday Mishmash - Granola Winners!

You guys.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the sweet comments on my blogiversary post.  I never, in a million years, thought that from my first tentative blog post would come the support I have today.  Y'all are the best!  Just so you know...I read every single comment and love to see who is reading my blog!

Without further ado, the winners of the granola are:


(I have to tell you that I literally LOL'd when I saw the first winner that random.org drew - #1, Fran, who is almost never eligible to win any of my giveaways because she doesn't live in the U.S.  Awesome!)  Anyway, congratulations to the winners - I'll get the granola made early next week and get it sent out to you soon! 

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Last call for Prom pictures - the post is going up on Monday, so if you have some you've been meaning to submit, now is the time!  Send them to 40somethingsjourney@gmail.com.  Thanks!

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A few days ago Debby posted, wondering about buying these flip flops.  I got so excited I had to comment in ALL CAPS, because I recently bought a pair and LOVE THEM!  Seriously, these are the most comfortable shoes I think I've ever owned...and I'll admit, I had a hard time shelling out the bucks for them, because believe me, it was big bucks for these flip flops.  But I needed something to wear this summer because all of my sandals from last summer have a wedge heel and that was hurting my ankle.  So I bought them and have not regretted it for a moment.  I even did that epic shopping trip to Ikea in these shoes - walked around for hours on a concrete floor - and my feet did not hurt.  Ah-mazing.  Anyway, just though I'd share. :)

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It's (almost) summertime (it IS if you look at our temperatures) and our old friends Big Salad and Watermelon have been appearing in the kitchen again...
How I've missed you, Big Salad!  I started buying a couple of slices of roasted turkey breast at the deli instead of grilling chicken - so much easier, and I'm preferring the texture of the turkey better.  Jeff swears this was my best Big Salad yet!
 And you, Watermelon!  My gosh, you are tasty!!!

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Ever since I turned 40 and had to start having annual mammograms, I decided to reward myself for being a big girl and actually doing them.  I figure I used to bribe my kids when they had to deal with certain unpleasant procedures - it was the least I could do for me.  Usually my reward was something wicked like Coldstone Creamery ice cream, although in recent years I splurged on lemon sorbet.  This year?  I actually didn't want ice cream or even frozen yogurt (I know, you probably want to feel my forehead to see if I'm well, right?).  I decided to take myself to the movies - my future second husband has a new flick out called Everything Must Go, and I wanted to see it.  So get this:  not only did I go to the movies, but I snuck in my own treats instead of hitting the snack bar.  Want to know what I brought, what I was really craving? 
Cherries!
(Don't worry, I had frozen yogurt last night.  All is well.)

The movie was really good.  Not your normal over-the-top funny Will Ferrell movie, but a great story, and pretty sobering.  Yes, that was a pun.  You'll see why if you go watch the movie.  

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And now it's time for another edition of Fashion Friday!  A little background:  I've been wanting a pair of white denim capris (or jeans) since last summer.  I'm a little picky when it comes to the fabric on lighter-colored pants - namely, I want a heavier fabric, because it helps to hide the lumpiness of my thighs.  Yes, even with all the dang running, swimming and workouts, my thighs are not smooth.  Not sure that they will ever be, but rather than lament the lumps, I decided that there has to be something that would work.  Late last summer I found the pants - but at $98, I could not buy them.  Even though I looked pretty good in them, if I do say so myself!  I wrote about them here, if you're wanting to see the magical jeans.  Anyway, this year, I'm in a bigger size, but by god, I was determined to get my white pants!  I found them a couple of weeks ago and have been wearing them constantly - I declare this my Summer of White Capris!  These are Lee white denim capris in a petite length - I think I paid about $23 for them at Kohl's - much more affordable than the other magical jeans!  You got a sneak peek on my picture update...here's another way I wore them this week:
 
Paired with a top I bought last summer...and what do you suppose I'm looking at?
 Here's how it looked last August with black pants...and seriously, what am I looking at?

This is a big step for me - being comfortable in light-colored pants.  I've worked the "dark = slimming" concept on the bottom for decades, but I am finally ready to shed a little of that insecurity and rock the white jeans.  Obviously I wasn't ready last summer, when I was thinner, but I'm loving them now.  I guess I really am accepting my new body!  About time, dontcha think?

And in the "some things never change" category:
Paco ALWAYS has to get in the picture...
Always.

Have a great weekend!  We are headed back up to visit the boys, help with building and installing Sam's new furniture, and hopefully getting in some time at one of the pools in his new apartment complex!  See you at the Prom on Monday!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Wednesday Workout Update

 My pink pool bag with all my workout goodies - aqua gloves, water shoes so I can "run" up and down the pool without hurting my tender toes, goggles, swimcap - all that is missing is a kick board, and that's because I just borrow one at the gym.  Oh, and please note the giant purple towel to match my swim suit!  Not as entertaining as coordinating running outfits, but it's all I have for now.

So this is my life:  Wake up and roll out of bed.  Drink a few sips of coffee.  Brush teeth.  Shimmy into swimsuit - not easy when you're only half awake.  Throw on shorts and t-shirt over suit, slip feet into flip flops.  Grab swim bag and hop in car for 15 minute drive to gym.  (and no, you didn't miss the part where I brush my hair or wash my face...no need, as I'll be jumping into the pool soon!) 

Get to pool, find an open lane (whew - I've never had to share a lane with a stranger so far), dump all of my workout accessories on side.  Grab yellow kick board from the locker - never the blue or pale pink one, always the yellow.  No idea why, but it must be that color.  Pull hair into ponytail; jam swimcap on.  Slip into water - it's usually around 83 degrees; not always easy to get right in...however, I'd rather be in the water quickly so as to not flash my pale jiggly thighs to the world.  Begin Shelley Swimming™ routine.

One hour later, haul self from pool (still can't perform the graceful lift-and-twist move to get out).  Rinse off in warm pool shower.  Dry off, brush hair (see, now it's important as this is it for the day).  Pull shorts and t-shirt back on; squeak in flip flops out to car.  Drive home, trying not to gnaw right arm off from extreme hunger.  Arrive home, have breakfast.  Next day?  Do it all again.

The one interesting thing about swimming is that while I do feel I'm getting a pretty decent workout (keep in mind I'm mixing it up quite a bit, not just doing the crawl up and down the lane ever lap after lap), I'm not painfully sore afterward, like I was almost all the time when I did my group workouts.  And, I'm able to swim as often as I want should can - I don't have to rest my muscles in between workouts.  Now, I am tired from swimming, but I'm not hurting.  I can feel my muscles toning up; however, it's weird to see that without having the T-Rex arms or dreading the act of sitting down (and standing back up) - is it really possible to get into shape without painfully sore muscles?  This is uncharted territory for me...but I have to admit, I like not being so sore after a workout.  Maybe I'm just being a lazy baby, but this is a nice change.  And it's enough that when I'm able to resume running (please, soon?), I'll be able to keep swimming.  Who knew???

Monday, May 23, 2011

My Three Year Blogiversary! And a Giveaway!! Woohoo!!!

Dang.  Three years ago I started this blog - actually three years and one week ago (let's just say I've been a little busy, hence the late post).  Back on May 14, 2008, all I knew is that I was ready to lose weight, and I wanted to write about it so that I'd remember how hard I'd worked at losing it and hopefully, would not do the traditional regain dance that I knew too well. Long story short, I lost over 100 pounds and have mostly kept it off for over a year and a half now.

Here's where I am today, three years later.  As you all know, it's been a bit of a rough year since January, what with my ankle injury, losing my main (and favorite) form of exercise - running - and all the planned races for the Spring, and then, of course, my mom's cancer diagnosis and subsequent surgery and recovery.  A lot was going on, both emotionally and physically.  I've had to completely change my workouts - and I haven't been as strict with my eating as I probably should be.  But you know what?  Even though my ankle is (still) not healed, I feel strong.  I feel healthy.  I feel good about myself, even with not quite fitting into my Bermuda shorts from last summer.  I like who I am, and I like how I live my life. 

I've learned so much about myself in these last three years.  I've become more secure in knowing that at the end of the day, it's ME who has put in the effort (or not), and it's ME who will see the results (or not).  I've heard a lot of opinions, I've gotten the emails, I've read many, many blogs where they do things a different way - one that works for them.  But this is me, and I've gained the confidence to know what is right for me.  How I lost weight may not be right for you - heck, it probably isn't.  If you get anything from reading about my journey, I hope it's that it IS possible to make a major change in your life, no matter what your age or circumstances. 
Clockwise from top left:  May 08, May 09, May 10, May 11. And look - I'm STILL thin!!!  It's amazing to me that I've kept the weight off!!!

Over the past three years, I've made some wonderful, supportive friendships through blogging.  I've been lucky enough to meet a couple of you in person, talk with a couple others on the phone, and exchange personal emails with many more.  I want you all to know how much I appreciate your taking the time to come here and read my blatherings, and leave me comments and be so supportive, especially during this rough start to my year.  You have been there through my victories (anybody remember when I finally conquered my nemesis, the box jump?), and my defeats (no half marathons for me this Spring), my celebrations and my worries.  As a token of my appreciation, I am doing a giveaway of my homemade granola - just a little something, made with love, by me, for you.  Well, three of you, anyway, because it's my three-year blogiversary - get it?  LOL.  This is open to everyone worldwide since I'm doing the shipping.  Anyone who comments is entered - but please be sure your email is either linked or listed in the comment so I can contact you if you win.  Winners will be chosen by random.org and I'll post them on Friday.  Good luck, and thank you again for all of your support!
Yummmmmm, granola!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Friday Mishmash - With a Bonus Review!

My gosh, it's been a busy, busy week.  Tuesday afternoon we arrived back at my house, and we've been going 90-to-nothing ever since!  Some of the highlights include a walk to Academy, where we shopped a bit (you will see the results on Monday), my mom and I saw the movie Bridesmaids (loved it - and there were parts that I was laughing so hard I was crying) (yes, the food poisoning scene) (yes, I have the humor of an adolescent boy), shopped for a new microwave oven to go with our stove (woohoo, thanks Mom and Dad!!!), and then came home from yoga to find said microwave installed (again, thanks Dad!).
Every major appliance in the kitchen is now stainless - after 11 years, it was time.  Nice to have good-looking, working things (fridge and oven, I'm looking at you).  Watch us move soon now (lol).

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A while ago I was offered the chance to have a canvas picture made from any photograph of my choosing - Easy Canvas Prints is the company that does this.  I hemmed and hawed about which photo to pick, and finally decided on my mom's favorite picture of her and my dad from their Hawaiian anniversary trip.  I have to say, this was an incredibly easy process to follow - I just uploaded the picture to the website, decided on the size and how I wanted the canvas "wrapped" on the frame (thickness, mirror image, solid color or the actual photograph), and bam!  It was done.  Easy Canvas Prints does offer a retouching service, and you can also have your picture printed in black and white or sepia, but I didn't choose to do any of those.  The picture came in just before I was leaving for California - I was really impressed with how it turned out.  As it was a gift for my parents, I had to wait to do this review until they got the picture, which was a few days ago when we all arrived here after the graduation.  They were quite pleased with it:
The picture was taken on the plane ride to Hawaii - they got lei'd on the plane, as my dad likes to joke.

You can order your own canvas print by clicking here...thanks, Megan and Easy Canvas Prints for this great gift!

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I forgot to tell you my chicken taco story from when I was at Barbara's house.  One day she said she'd cook chicken in some enchilada sauce and we'd have chicken tacos for dinner.  Sounded good to me!  I played  Project Runway on the Wii with Theresa while she prepared dinner (btw, that is a fun game - you get to create wild fashions and have Tim Gunn chime in with his sweet encouragement).  Time to eat - we all grabbed plates and made our own tacos.  I followed Barbara - she put some chicken from one pan onto her tortilla, and then put some square chicken from another pan onto her tortilla.  I did the same, although I wondered why she diced some chicken and shredded the other.  Anyway, I ate my tacos and they were good.  While we were sitting at the table, Barbara made the comment that the tofu was good.  It dawned on me that the square chicken was, in fact, tofu...and I said "I ate tofu?!?" - which cracked Theresa up.  She has a pretty sophisticate palate for a 9-year-old (heck, for a 29-year-old!) and teases me about going for sushi and eating seaweed and all sorts of things I don't like.  So I learned two things that night - one, I like tofu, and two, I can make a 9-year-old laugh without even trying!

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I want to give a shout out to Road ID - the latch on Jeff's Road ID broke, and he emailed them about it.  Within a couple of days a new latch came in the mail at no charge.  I've always been impressed with how well they did with my two orders, but this raised their customer service to a whole new level...thank you, Road ID!

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Sam was dorm roommates with Jimmy and Other Sam, as I called him, for their first two years at college.  Other Sam graduated in December with his Electrical Engineering degree, same as my Sam.  He came to the graduation and afterward, they were making me laugh with their special "engineer-nerd" handshakes:
Clockwise from top left:  Posing, mugging, creating an electrical current, embarrassed.  I'm so glad that Sam has such a good friend in Other Sam.  Jimmy came to the party afterward, but being a business major, he doesn't know those special handshakes.

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And now it's time for a Fashion Friday quickie.  On Wednesday I wrote about buying an outfit for yoga - this is it:
 Paco was watching a bird and wouldn't turn around for the camera!

Please note the sleeveless top - I've come a long way in body acceptance!  Two summers ago I wouldn't think of showing my flabby upper arms to the world, but you know what?  There are certain circumstances where I don't care.  And comfort is key with yoga; I get warm while doing it, so by golly, I'm baring my arms!  Anyway, this is my one and only yoga outfit...soft and comfy, it is!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
 

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Wednesday Workout Update

I'm just back from Denton - we spent the last few days helping Sam shop for furniture and a washer and dryer for his new apartment.  What fun to start out with everything fresh and new all at once - I will admit to a bit of envy!  Anyway, it was fun and tiring, especially on Monday, when we shopped for hours and hours at Ikea, followed by some more shopping at other furniture stores (looking for a couch) and then back to Ikea to double-check some things.  We were on our feet all day long, and I have to say that while I was ready to finally sit down, I was not completely beat...and I have to give credit to my overall fitness.  Apparently being fairly active on a regular basis DOES help when the really busy days crop up - a few years ago, I would have been in physical pain after just one day like we had, not to mention I wouldn't have lasted shopping all day like I did.  So here's another hurray for lifestyle changes!

On with the update, because I know Helen will be sad if I don't talk about my fun workouts. :)

I've been swimming 3 days a week, although next week I think I'll be in town all week so I should be able to make it 4 days.  Keep in mind this is Shelley Swimming™ which is a special version...no standard laps for me, lol!  I try to do 1000 meters, which I break down to four laps of each (the pool is 25 meters long):

  1. kickboard
  2. sidestroke
  3. kickboard
  4. walk/jogging the length of the pool
  5. backstroke
  6. kickboard
  7. more walk/jogging
  8. sidestroke
  9. backstroke
  10. kickboard
I also pretend to ride the redumbent bike underwater for at least two intervals of five minutes (it's actually not so dumb when it's underwater).  I have to tell you, while I knew that my legs would feel the swimming, I had no idea that my arms and shoulders would get such a workout, especially now that I'm wearing my fitness gloves.  I may just end up with some decent shape to my arms yet!

As you know, I tried yoga while I was in California, and I liked it.  Last Thursday Joni and I went to a yoga class at the gym - it was fun.  The stretching felt really good, and then we did the traditional yoga poses, which are intense!  I was shaking while doing a couple of them.  The class was pretty small - I think there were about eight of us in there, so the instructor was able to give Joni and I extra attention in working with our form.  It's amazing how limber some of the women in the class are - and hard to fathom that someday we might be like them.  I'm planning on making at least one yoga class each week; possibly more, depending on my schedule.  There is one that meets at 8:30 p.m., and I am tempted to try it because I have a feeling I'd sleep really well after that!  Oh, and I'm sure you will not be surprised at all to know that I bought a yoga outfit. What???  I had to! ;)

The last part of my workout has been walking - not a lot, because my orthopedist really recommended against it, but when I'm in town, I like to go to the Saturday runs with my running club and walk half the distance that they are scheduled to run - that way I finish around the time most of the runners are starting to come in, and really, how bad can a couple of miles of walking be for my ankle?

So that's it - swimming, yoga and walking.  If you would have told me a year ago that this would be my workout, I would have fallen off my chair laughing.  What, what and WHAT???  No way!  Well, way, apparently. I dare not EVEN predict the future of my workouts.

Monday, May 16, 2011

My College Graduate!

I can't believe it's over - Sam has graduated from college!  I remember walking him into his classroom on the first day of kindergarten back in September of 1992...he's been in school ever since, until Saturday.  WOW.  We are all so very proud of Sam, and yes, I have to take a moment to brag, because he worked really hard at UNT - he was in a very demanding program and put tons of hours into his projects, and it paid off - Sam graduated magna cum laude with a Bachelor of Science degree in Electrical Engineering, and a minor in mathematics.  He was published in a technical magazine earlier in the year, got a great internship that led to a wonderful job offer, and is starting off his life as an adult on the right foot.  The sky's the limit, Sam! :)

Pictures!
Reading the card from Jeff and I - it was a talking card that said "blah blah blah blah" - it gave me the giggles every time I opened it, and cracked Sam up, too.
Sam and Other Sam, his roommate from Freshman and Sophomore years in the dorms.  We walked from the boy's apartment to the graduation ceremony.
At the coliseum, waiting for the ceremony to begin.  From left:  Me, my mom, my dad, Max, Jeff, my Uncle Phil.
The graduate!!! 
 Proud family, happy graduate!
I like how relaxed and happy we look in this picture.
At the on-campus reception right after the ceremony.
Max and Other Sam - two cheese balls!
Family picture - anyone notice how Jeff has appropriated my "hand on hip" signature pose???
Thumbs up!  It's all good. :)
Officially a UNT alumni now!
We had Rudy's BBQ for the party afterward - holy yum this was good!
Even the beer got fancy for the party!
Sam and his amazingly delicious carrot cake he requested...
That's my boy! :)

Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday Mishmash - Late, You-Get-What-You-Pay-For Edition

...in other words, I'd complain more about Blogger being down for so long except that, you know, it's free and all, so what right do I really have to fuss?  Anyway, here's a belated, abbreviated post, because I'm now in Denton,  where we are gathering to watch Sam graduate from the University of North Texas tomorrow - yay!
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So speaking of blogging, I've been blogging for nearly three years now and there are still some things I don't understand.  For example, what is "reblogging" and why are people doing it?  I get Google alerts that so-and-so has reblogged  my blog - why?  When I've clicked on the link, it just shows a bunch of people reblogging - what does that mean?  It's not like when I link to another blogger while I'm writing about them - this is just a list.

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The first winner of the Gel-Bot never contacted me, so I had random.org redraw - the new winner is Kim!  I've already contacted her (see, this is why you need to leave an email when you enter these things) and she should be getting her new bottle soon - congratulations, Kim!

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My BIF Helen has had to listen to me whine and moan about my ankle for four months now and while I'm sure she's sick and tired of it, she has been nothing but supportive.  Look what I got in the mail from her yesterday:
A homeopathic remedy for bone trauma - you never know...these might be the magic cure-all pills I've been hoping for!  I took a dose (five tiny pills that you let dissolve in your mouth) - they taste like the candy medicine that used to come in the play doctor kits!  Wouldn't it be wonderful if they worked?  Fingers crossed!!!
Nosy Parker Paco had to see what the fuss was all about...

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Bought my first cherries of the season yesterday - at first I balked at the price, but you know what?  It's fruit.  I don't think twice about what I pay for frozen yogurt, so why do I when it comes to something as healthy as fruit?  I don't understand my logic sometimes. 
 It was a rainy day so I put the dish by the window for some natural light.  Oh, and this is just for show...I ate way more than 10 cherries!
Nosy Parker strikes again...
Paco was convinced that he was getting some cherries when I was done taking their picture - see the smile on his face?  Poor dog was denied - well, he got a cookie.  These babies were all mine!

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OK, that's it for today - hope you all have a wonderful weekend!  I'll be back on Monday with some pictures of the graduate!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wednesday Workout Update - Deep Thoughts Edition

I was all set to come here and write a quick post on the workouts (walking, swimming and yoga tomorrow) I've done since I returned home but yesterday I made a comment on Helen's post that got me thinking.  And then I got mad.  And then I did what helps me to see things clearly when I'm upset - I wrote.  And now I'm sharing it with you.

In her post, Helen wrote of her frustration at not fitting into last summer's bermuda shorts.  My comment was "I hear you on the clothes. And I wanna just slap myself."  Until I wrote those words, I honestly didn't think I was that mad at myself for putting on some pounds.  But I am, and here's why:

I truly did not appreciate how good I looked last summer.  Don't get me wrong - I was thrilled with fitting into the size 6 bermuda shorts, but did I focus on that?  No - I couldn't stop seeing my extra belly flab.  I'm sure this stems from always having in the back of my mind that I still weighed a lot for my height - my lowest low was 146 pounds, but obviously a lot was muscle, because that is the only way I could have fit into such small sizes.  WHY didn't I appreciate my body then?  I'll tell you why...decades of dieting. 

Never being done. 

Never hitting "goal" - whatever that was. 

Never having the inner strength to say "I like how I look and feel now" - never quite standing up for myself. 

I am so mad.  I just want to go back and say "You dope!  Enjoy what you've achieved!" and I know that I'm not showing self-love, but so what.  Sometimes I need a reality check.  And my reality is that I was obese for 20 years.  The very fact that I was able to lose so much weight was a freaking miracle.  And the fact that I couldn't let myself be done at 146 pounds - that I couldn't accept that I was at a healthy size for ME - oh, I am angry.

My mother is happiest with herself when she weighs in the low 120's.
My best friend is happiest with herself when she weighs in the low 130's.
I should have been happy with myself when I weighed in the mid 140's.

Three people, all about the same height.  All different body types.  All active, healthy people.  All who look freaking amazing at those weights.  And one who is dealing with 20/20 hindsight.

 Me, last summer, at my lowest weight, wearing the size 6 bermudas that don't fit at the moment.  Not seeing the belly flab that I couldn't stop focusing on, either.  Big, big sigh.