Monday, October 21, 2019

Off My Game

 Either Jeff is inventing a new way to wash plates or he's off his game, too

I don't think it's any secret that this herniated disc has thrown me off my game.  I've been a mess since April, and I'm still not back to my normal self.  I think part of it is because I still hurt, and part of it is because even when I can do something as routine as washing a load of towels, I only get as far as the washing part.  Moving heavy wet towels from the washer to the dryer requires too much bending, so they stay in the washer until Jeff comes home to finish the job.  Usually I am a wash/dry/fold/put away person, so it bugs me a little more than it should to have restraints like that.

And sure, I know it's easy to think oh poor you, you can't do laundry - but it's just one of many things that I still cannot do.  I need routine.  I don't wake up early to run anymore, I don't have my late afternoon workout group (yet...hopefully that will return soon), and I'm not even supposed to vacuum my floors!  I guess I'm feeling better enough to feel antsy, but not good enough to do a whole lot.  In case I haven't mentioned it lately, having a herniated disc really sucks.

There's also the mental part - you would not believe the amount of mistakes I've made.  It's gotten to the point that I have Jeff double check after I pay the bills because I freaking missed one a few months ago.  I'm better but still not great at coming up with the words when I'm trying to convey something, which is just one more reminder of how off I still am.  You would have thought I was doing rocket science last week when I was trying to figure out the schedule for taking my steroids:
This was the third time that I wrote it out, and I still didn't get it done perfectly.

I need for my brain to click back into normal operations - it's had a seven month vacation and I think it may be AWOL at this point.

13 comments:

  1. Patience my friend....it’s slowly coming back!!! You’ll be back to normal soon!!

    I also noticed that you said ‘ not supposed to’ in reference to vacuuming...does that mean you’ve been cheating?? Lol

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    1. Haha no cheating on the vacuuming but I've considered it a few times!

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  2. Recovery time sucks - especially when you are someone who craves routine. Keep doing your word puzzles and things like that because it can really help. Here's to reining that brain back into the corral!

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  3. Ok, since I get to interact with you a little bit, I just want you to know I can definitely see improvement! I know it feels hard and impossibly slow, but you really are getting better. I agree that you are in that middle ground and need to have some activity added to your life and I hope you get clearance for that soon. Hang in there!

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    1. I'm glad you see improvement. Living with this, it's hard to notice when apparently it's going at a snail's pace.

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  4. I am a person who loves routine, so I can definitely relate to your angst at having no routine! Just hang in there. Your routine might be different, but eventually you will have a new routine going!

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    1. Thanks - it'll be interesting to see where I end up.

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  5. I love routine as well. It is going to be party time when you can do laundry and dishes. Those weird things we take for granted can become precious when taken away. Fingers crossed for your recovery.

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    1. So true!! I'd just like to clean my kitchen, which is weird but you get me. :)

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  6. That sounds completely frustrating and terrifying. :( And so lost, to not have your routine and do the small things each day that give you purpose. You are such a trooper, Shelley. You've been dealing with this for so long and fighting as hard as you can. I really hope you start to get bits of your routine back soon!

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    1. Thanks Kim. It's not a life-threatening thing that I've been dealing with but it's definitely been life-changing.

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  7. I have been thinking of you and how you've been struggling with pain this year. I hope this injury / pain is not what will define your 2019. I said the same thing about Baylee's illness ( and then death). I did not want that to define my 2019, but somehow it has. I hope your pain goes away and just like that you will be able to turn this year around!

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