Herniated Disc Update #9 - One Year Later

It's been just over a year since my L3-L4 disc decided to blow up so it's time for a final update on my saga. 

After trying pain management with medication and epidural steroid injections as well as physical therapy for over five months, nothing improved enough to make it through the day without extreme pain.  I was finally ready to consult with a neurosurgeon about this.  My neurosurgeon came highly recommended by a number of people I trusted, so when he said he could fix this and make me feel better, I decided to try a surgical intervention.

Seven months ago I had a laminectomy and discectomy to relieve pressure on my nerve.  While the surgery went well, it took much longer than my neurosurgeon predicted for me to feel 100% again, which made me question my decision to have surgery in the first place.  You hear so many tales of back surgery gone wrong, and the longer it took for me to feel better, the more nervous I became.  Had my surgeon said something along the lines of "your nerve has been compressed for so long that it will take quite a while for it to settle down" I would have accepted the continued leg pain as part of the recovery instead of worrying that the surgery didn't solve anything.

That said, surgery was the key to healing my herniated disc.  I can say that now.  I can't even remember when my leg pain finally went away thanks to my other medical event, which was a grand mal seizure two months after surgery.  As I was dealing with a new set of issues, the leg pain went on the back burner.  I suspect it was somewhere around January that it finally resolved.

As for my back, my physical therapist told me that after having surgery - any surgery on any part of the body - it's changed forever.  So I need to be aware of that and not do anything that might bring on another disc problem.  I will not do any kind of jumping/high impact exercise ever again.  And that's OK - better to lose the jump rope than to go through that painful hell. 

I've been gently easing back into exercise.  I walked for about four weeks before adding in a little bit of running.  I like running and want to do it.  My hopes are to build up to running three miles.  However, if I start to have pain, I will stop.  It's not worth getting hurt again.  I don't see myself ever running long distances - I think my days of doing a half marathon, or probably even a 10K are done.  But if I can run a few miles and feel good, I'll be content with that.

There is a happy ending to my herniated disc.  It took a lot of trying different things to get to this point.  It was the most painful thing I've ever gone through; pain that was 24/7, pain that hurt so badly that I was ready to hurl myself out of the car at one point.  It's not something I would wish on anyone.  But if you've discovered my blog while searching for someone who has gone through this and come out OK on the other side, I want to give you some hope that it can get better.  Hang in there.

Herniated Disc Update #8 PLUS Seizure Update

Herniated disc update:  It's been 3.5 months since I had surgery - a laminectomy and discectomy of the L3 - for my herniated disc.  I had a third follow up appointment with my neurosurgeon last week; we discussed getting another MRI to check things out since my leg is still not 100% better - it's hugely improved, but I still have incidents where if I move wrong or get in the car awkwardly, I'll get that old familiar shooting leg pain.  But, since the recommended course of action would be to continue to wait for more healing to happen, we decided to hold off on the MRI.  I'll hold off until August, if need be - our insurance runs on a fiscal year so I've hit my deductible already and any big tests won't cost me much at this point; why not get one if there's any doubt?

With all of the craziness of the seizure and then traveling, I have completely gotten off of my physical therapy routine, which is too bad because I can tell that I'm not as flexible as I was; in fact, every time I get up from sitting, I have to steady myself and I walk stiffly for a minute or so until things get moving again.  My doctor is very pro physical therapy so I'll begin another round with Amanda this week and hopefully with that plus more time to heal, I can put this herniated disc saga behind me soon.  I'm ready to be done with it, believe me.

Seizure update:  A lot has been happening with this while nothing much has changed.  Right before Christmas I had a second opinion via telephone from a seizure disorder neurologist located in New Haven, Connecticut.  This was via 2nd.MD, which is a service provided as part of our health insurance, and while I went into it thinking it could be a whole lot of nothing, it ended up being incredibly helpful.  Prior to the telephone call I'd given permission for my ER records, with the CT scan, MRI, EEG, etc, to be sent to the specialist, so when we spoke she'd gone over everything and gave me her take on what might be going on, along with what she recommended. 

She agreed with my original neurologist that with the EEG showing abnormal activity, I do need to be on anti-seizure medicine, although she recommended switching to one that should be easier on me than the Keppra has been, side effect-wise.  She also recommended getting another EEG, even while taking the medicine; she said that if it came back showing less abnormal activity, that would be an indicator that the medicine is working, which would give me some peace of mind (more on that in a bit).  Another thing she recommended was that I see an epileptologist in Houston for a workup, which I'm on board with doing.

While this neurologist does think I have some sort of seizure disorder, she was encouraging in getting me back to living a normal life.  Because I had no indication that a seizure was imminent, and because I had been dealing with a little stomach bug/not feeling great the weekend that it happened, she recommended that I pay attention to times when I am not feeling great, and during those times to not drive or swim or do anything that might result in getting seriously injured if I were to have another seizure.  Also I'm supposed to be sure and get plenty of good sleep, which hasn't been happening for me for years now so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to accomplish that, but I have been trying to go to bed earlier.  I still wake up in the middle of the night but I'm more rested when that happens, LOL. 

Last week I not only had an appointment with my neurosurgeon, but also with my neurologist - it was Neurology Week, woohoo!  I told my neurologist about the second opinion I'd gotten and she agreed to switch my anti-seizure medication to Lamictal; it's a very slow titration, 25 mg/week for two weeks before increasing another 25 mg, and we're heading to somewhere around 150 mg, so I'll be continuing to take the Keppra while this is happening.  I'm glad she was agreeable to the change.  She is putting in a referral for me for an epileptologist in Houston while my neurosurgeon is looking for one to refer me to as well - I am hopeful that between the two of them I'll end up with someone who can help me navigate through all of this and figure out what I really am dealing with.

What I want to end up with all of this is some peace of mind.  I'm having a hard time reconciling what happened.  One minute I was standing in my kitchen and then next thing I knew, I was on the ground, not knowing how I got there.  To go down like that with no warning, and to not be aware or have any memory of what was happening during the seizure has been really unsettling to me.  It doesn't make a lot of sense as to why it bothers me as much as it does, but when we were at a family gathering recently I happened to overhear someone say that he'd had a seizure, and when I asked him what had happened, he had a very similar story regarding how mysterious the entire event felt to him.  While I was sorry that he'd had a seizure, I was really glad that I got to compare and share our experiences.

I try not to worry, at least consciously, that this could happen again.  After all, I'm on anti-seizure medication, so that should be taking care of things, right?  But I will admit that the fear of another seizure is still deep inside of me because I'll notice that if I'm not feeling great I'll suddenly become irritable, and I think that's the worry - warranted or not - coming out.  I am still on my state-mandated three months of no driving which is fine with me.  It's annoying and inconvenient to not just hop in the car and go somewhere whenever I want to, but it's one less thing to worry about.

As for now, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing - taking my meds, resting my still-concussed brain, and trying to get back to my regularly-scheduled life, whatever that is at this point.

Off My Game

 Either Jeff is inventing a new way to wash plates or he's off his game, too

I don't think it's any secret that this herniated disc has thrown me off my game.  I've been a mess since April, and I'm still not back to my normal self.  I think part of it is because I still hurt, and part of it is because even when I can do something as routine as washing a load of towels, I only get as far as the washing part.  Moving heavy wet towels from the washer to the dryer requires too much bending, so they stay in the washer until Jeff comes home to finish the job.  Usually I am a wash/dry/fold/put away person, so it bugs me a little more than it should to have restraints like that.

And sure, I know it's easy to think oh poor you, you can't do laundry - but it's just one of many things that I still cannot do.  I need routine.  I don't wake up early to run anymore, I don't have my late afternoon workout group (yet...hopefully that will return soon), and I'm not even supposed to vacuum my floors!  I guess I'm feeling better enough to feel antsy, but not good enough to do a whole lot.  In case I haven't mentioned it lately, having a herniated disc really sucks.

There's also the mental part - you would not believe the amount of mistakes I've made.  It's gotten to the point that I have Jeff double check after I pay the bills because I freaking missed one a few months ago.  I'm better but still not great at coming up with the words when I'm trying to convey something, which is just one more reminder of how off I still am.  You would have thought I was doing rocket science last week when I was trying to figure out the schedule for taking my steroids:

This was the third time that I wrote it out, and I still didn't get it done perfectly.

I need for my brain to click back into normal operations - it's had a seven month vacation and I think it may be AWOL at this point.

Herniated Disc Update #7 - Post Surgery

According to my surgeon, the recovery time for a laminectomy and discectomy is six weeks.  Considering I'd been dealing with a herniated disc for six months, six weeks didn't sound all that bad.  Besides, both the PA and my doctor said that after the first two weeks, I could go back to my normal life (whatever that is) with just a few caveats until the six weeks were up.  You'll want to stay tuned for this...

But let's back up to surgery day.  After I got home I parked myself on the couch, had a light dinner, visited with Diane who'd brought me some flowers, and finally felt enough pain in my back to warrant some Tramadol.  Of course I was really wary of taking anything thanks to how barfy I got from most everything I tried in the months leading up to this, but along with the pain meds I was also sent home with a prescription for an anti-nausea medication; I took both and fell asleep. 

On Tuesday I woke up feeling crummy but not barfy, so I continued with the pain meds.  Really it wasn't that bad but considering I'd spent enough time at 10 on the pain scale in the early months of the herniation, I decided to not go there if I could help it.  The pain was mostly located in my back but I still had a little bit in my leg from the nerve.  The other oddball thing was that I'd be perfectly still, standing or lying down, and I'd get the biggest ZAP of pain - it'd take my breath away for a moment.  This was the nerve reacting to surgery, yay.  When that happened for the first time I was glad I hadn't started tapering off Gabapentin just yet.  I needed as much help as I could get for that nerve.  It wasn't something that warranted taking Tramadol because it was too unpredictable - the zaps would just happen whenever they felt like happening.

Wednesday was my worst day with pain from the surgery - the incision area hurt plus my back ached pretty bad.  That was the day I could also remove the dressing covering the incision, and even though it was covered with steri strips, I could see some deep red bruises forming.  But hey, I got to take a shower, so that was great.  Although it was also a challenge since the post-op instructions said to not let the shower spray hit the incision.  I was paranoid that I'd accidentally turn with my back to the spray out of habit...let's face it, at 56 I've been showering for a lot of years without any thought going into which way I should be facing.  I made it through that OK, feeling both better as well as beat afterward.  I took the pain meds and for the first time since surgery on Monday, took the muscle relaxer that I'd gone home with - and side note, let's hear it for an in-hospital pharmacy who filled everything and sent it up to recovery; one less errand for Jeff to do afterward.

On Thursday I felt so much better that I only ended up taking half the dose of the muscle relaxer before I went to bed; no pain meds.  I thought that was really great - I've had so many pain meds in my system this year that not needing anything was better than good.  The zaps continued.

I spent the rest of the week and weekend feeling sore from the actual back surgery but overall not too bad all things considered.  I was trying very hard to rest and not do the things that were on the forbidden list for the first two weeks.  These consisted of:

• No bending forward beyond a 45 degree angle
• No twisting side to side
• No lifting anything over 15 lbs and if I had to carry something, to hold it close to my abdomen
• No driving
• No exercise or physical therapy
• And the big kicker, no sitting for longer than 20 minutes at a time

I tried to behave myself, I really did.  But similar to subconsciously putting my back to shower spray, it was really hard to not to bend forward beyond 45 degrees - I'd catch myself bending forward to reach a drink from the coffee table as I was lounging on the couch.  Or I reached into our bottom drawer freezer for an ice pack - argh!!  I was very frustrated with myself every time this happened.  I was pretty much perfect with the sitting, lifting, and driving, but bending and twisting really vexed me.

Which leads me to week two.  On Monday I woke up and felt like myself again.  I walked with my normal stride and while my back hurt a little, it mostly only bothered me getting on or off of something, like the couch or bed.  And yes, I was still getting zaps of pain, yay.

But then came Tuesday.  I woke up feeling good again, carefully swung my feet off the bed to start my day, took a step, and pain shot through my leg like fire.  After catching my breath, I realized that this wasn't a zap of pain but rather, it was the same nerve pain in the same area - groin, front of thigh, and top of knee - that I'd been dealing with since this entire thing began back in March. 

As you might imagine, I started going there:  the surgery didn't work, I'd accidentally bent too often, I'd twisted and messed it up...it was not a good place to be.  Not only did this continue, but it started hurting worse than before the surgery.  At the same time, I realized that the zaps were easing up and by Thursday I had my last one.  Which meant that the irritation on the nerve from the surgery had stopped, and the nerve pain in my leg was an indication of a failed discectomy.  It was hard not to think otherwise. 

The pain continued to increase in intensity and duration.  My despair was ramping up because if this didn't work, was I stuck living with nerve pain for the rest of my life?  Jeff was trying to stay positive but even he got a little down as the leg pain happened again and again and again.  There's a bit of a stigma with having back surgery as it's one of the more notorious in terms of failing, or being worse off than before, so you can probably understand why things looked bleaker and bleaker to us as I continued to hurt.

I had my two-week follow up appointment with the PA on Tuesday afternoon.  I was blunt in telling him that not only was I hurting, but that I was hurting worse than before.  He reassured me that I didn't screw it up with random accidental bending or twisting but rather, my nerve was extra irritated thanks to the disc fragment pressing on it, and then with the act of removing the disc fragment.  He said it's not common to have an increase in intensity of nerve pain after a discectomy, but it's also not unheard of, either.  I'm in the 10 - 20% of people who experience this.  Of course I am. 

My PA told me to continue with the bending and twisting limitations, and that I still should not start physical therapy or exercising, beyond walking as tolerated, for another two weeks.  He also offered to prescribe a round of steroids to help speed this process along, which I jumped at.  Anything to stop this pain.  He thinks the steroids will get enough inflammation reduced that I should begin to feel better over the weekend.  Please let that be the case!

So that's where I'm at as of about two and a half weeks post surgery.  It hasn't been the miracle cure where I woke up with the nerve pain gone, and all I needed to do was recover from having back surgery; nope not at all.  But my hopes are up once again and this time, I hope they stay up. 

Herniated Disc Update #6, Surgery Edition

First things first:  I am allowed 20 minutes to sit.  Then I have to get up and "do activity" but really, I am discouraged from sitting very much at all.  Sitting is the scourge of back surgery.  So I've set a timer and I swear, I hear the theme from Mission Impossible - no, not the movies but the OGTVMI* - in my head every time I sit down.

Last Monday I had a laminectomy and discectomy for a herniated disc at L3-L4.  My MRI showed a disc fragment pressing on the nerve at L3, so the goal of the surgery was to remove that disc.  After six months of extreme pain, epidural steroid injections, opioid pain relievers, and physical therapy, I'd done all that I could to fix this; it was time for surgery.

My surgery experience went well.  I checked in and the clerk had an estimate of what our portion of the cost would be - she handed me the paperwork and both Jeff and I were kind of oh well, this is what it takes to get me better.  Then she asked me how much of that amount I would like to pay at the moment, which was great - I thought they would want payment in full.  I felt like I was on The Price is Right, naming a dollar amount and hoping it was correct, but she accepted so I guess I made it to the showcase showdown, or surgery showdown, in my case.

Pretty quickly after I checked in, they called me back to the pre op area.  My nurse was so nice; we discussed video games and the Nintendo Switch, which both his 8 year old son and I own, haha.  The best part was when he prepared to put in the IV port - he asked if I wanted lidocaine beforehand; Jeff and I looked at each other and said YES at the same time.  After the little sting of the lidocaine injection, I didn't feel a thing when he put in the IV catheter, so I highly recommend that option if you are ever offered it.

Taking selfies while waiting for surgery is so 21st century, no?

I was the third surgery scheduled for that morning and ended up going in later than expected because the second surgery ran long.  It was fine; we were watching HGTV and making sure to text people so they didn't worry that they weren't getting the "all is finished" text when it was expected.  One side note:  Jeff hasn't been with me for my previous surgeries, thanks to his old job, so the waiting surprised him.  Right before I was finally wheeled out to the OR, he commented that he thought we'd be done and home by now.  Hahahahahahaha.  He had no idea what was coming.

Bored.

I remember going into the operating room and speaking with the anesthesiologist for a minute before he put an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and told me to take some deep breaths.  I did, and detected something other than oxygen in the mix, so I figured that would knock me out.  He kept telling me to take deep breaths because apparently I was harder to anesthetize than others, but finally, with an injection into my IV, I went off to dreamland.

After the surgery was complete, my doctor went out and spoke with Jeff, telling him it went great and he got everything out that was causing trouble.  I always think it's odd after day surgery that the patient rarely gets to speak with the surgeon but I guess they are already back in the OR with another patient by the time you wake up.  I have a follow up appointment next Tuesday so I hope to hear more details.

I woke up in Recovery 1, with just the nurse in the room.  It was so hard to keep my eyes open!  Eventually I was mostly awake and aware the my mouth was super dry, so she brought me a cup of ice water.  During this time the blood pressure machine kept starting;  apparently my BP was pretty high and my nurse needed to get it down before I could move on.  Now, I do have high blood pressure but it's managed well with medication - which I wasn't allowed to take before the surgery.  So I wasn't worried about that.  Honestly, I felt fine except for my dry mouth.

My lips were so dry, too - the nurse brought me some hospital lip balm but I was very happy to retrieve my ChapStick from Jeff when he finally came in.

I was drinking more water when the nurse, who I'd been chatting with, asked me if I drank coffee.  OK, subject change.  I said yes, and she offered to bring me a cup.  Coffee in the recovery room?  When did that become a thing?  Any case, I was very happy to accept it. 

She also brought me some saltines and graham crackers because she needed to give me medication that required some food in the stomach.  You guys.  I opened the saltines and took a small bite - less than a quarter of the cracker.  I started chewing and I swear to god, all of the pieces glued themselves inside my mouth - cheeks, teeth, tongue - I mean, I knew my mouth was dry but this was crazy.  The warm coffee helped with washing the cracker down, but from then on I could only take the most minuscule bite so I could swallow it.  It took at least 30 minutes to eat one saltine because my mouth stayed dry as the Sahara desert.  Finally I began dunking pieces of graham crackers in the coffee to soften them up and I got enough down to take the medicine.

Coffee, apple juice, ice water - service was pretty good at this restaurant.

Jeff was brought in at some point during this dry mouth/blood pressure time, and we waited for my blood pressure to drop.  I tried everything I could think of:  closing my eyes, taking slow calming breaths, not talking...nothing was working.  The nurse finally got permission to give me my normal blood pressure medicine, but it still didn't change.  My back also started hurting so she gave me some pain meds as well.  I couldn't tell if anything had changed with the pain in my leg - really, I couldn't feel my leg all that much.

Another room, more boredom.

Oh - during this time, the nurse said I looked familiar, and I told her I used to work in the gift shop and yep, that's where she knew me...and I haven't worked there in over a year!  Still, it was fun to talk about the purses and jewelry.  My blood pressure didn't drop any more, but I was alert enough to be moved to Recovery 2.  I was in Recovery 1 for longer than usual, which is normally about an hour and a half, and then you stay at least another hour and a half in Recovery 2...at this point Jeff started asking me what I wanted for dinner because that's when we'd be getting home.

The nurse in Recovery 2 said the same thing as the first nurse - I looked familiar.  Once again, I mentioned the gift shop and yep, that was it.  I actually remembered her so we talked about the goodies that she'd purchased.  After nearly an hour and a half my blood pressure finally dropped about 30 points, which was still in the high range, but my doctor said I could be released. 

I was ready to go but not so fast - first I had to take a walk with the nurse.  Have you ever seen people in physical therapy or at a hospital walking with a wide belt around their waist, with the nurse holding the back?  I have, and I always wondered how in the world that helped because it seemed like a pretty small system to hold a person upright.  Well, I am here to tell you that the belt/nurse combo works.  I was holding onto the railing in the hallway as I was wobbly walking, sure, but I stayed upright.

Up and ready to walk...but first let me get my hair out of my face.

I hesitated putting this picture in because it's just about the worst one ever - let's put a belt on and tighten it around your waist and then take a picture from behind...oh absolutely, that's definitely going to look lovely.  Also, not sure if I've mentioned this, but my secondary medication/coping mechanism for pain has been candy.  Lots of candy.  And no exercise.  I'd say I'm embarrassed about that, or mad at myself for having so much unhealthy food, but I'm not.  Enduring nerve pain for over six months took everything I had, and that included candy as well as pain meds.

I made it through my wobbly walk around the block - er, whatever it is inside a hospital.  Jeff filmed me from behind and when I saw it later, I looked like a drunk person trying to walk the line for a police officer.  Had that been the case, I would have been taken to jail, but it was good enough to be released from the hospital.  I was brought out in a wheelchair while Jeff brought the car to the hospital entrance, then gingerly got in the car, and went home to recover.  And as I mentioned above, Jeff had no idea how long this could take - my report time at the hospital was 8:30 am, and we left around 5:15 pm.  I think he's still a little surprised at how day surgery works, haha.

*OG TV Mission Impossible.  I just realize this didn't help as much as I thought it would, haha.

Herniated Disc Update #5

Well it's after 4:00 pm on a Tuesday and I just remembered that I hadn't written, or even started, a post for the WWU.  That's unusual for me but I've been even more scattered than usual because, drumroll please...I'm scheduled to have surgery on Monday.

I guess from that announcement you deduced that my visit with the neurosurgeon last week went well.  It did.  Jeff went with me; we first met with the PA, who was super friendly and informative.  Before he came in the room he went over the paperwork that I'd brought, checked my MRI, and said that all I needed was to have the disc fragment that is pressing on the nerve removed and I'd be back to my old self once I'd recovered from the surgery...with no nerve pain.

No. Nerve. Pain.

Of course Jeff and I had a lot of questions, starting with how successful is this surgery?  The PA said very successful.  We asked what would happen and learned about the procedure and how they would only work on the left side, with the actual operation taking about 30 minutes.  It would be done on an outpatient level, at one of the local hospitals.

After more questions (what would the restrictions be, what is the recovery like, etc), I asked one last question:  did I need to have the injections and pain management and physical therapy, then, if this surgery is so successful?  Because I was wondering, what the hell, did I just waste five months with that when I could have had surgery right away and avoid being in pain all this time?

No.  He said that even if I had presented to them back in April, with the MRI and extreme pain, they still would have had me go through pain management because sometimes the epidural steroid injections can give enough pain relief while the swelling is going down for the disc to shrink and/or move away from the nerve...and it might not be an issue after that.  They don't do surgery unless other options to fix this have been exhausted.

Hearing that was confirmation that I hadn't been foolish in trying to get the herniated disc healed without jumping into surgery.  It made me feel good, plus made me feel like I'd gone to the right neurosurgeon.  He was recommended by pretty much everyone when I was asking who to see, from healthcare professionals to friends who had used him, but still, you don't know until you actually meet with the person.

When the surgeon came in, we liked him right away.  And then peppered him with questions, LOL.  Jeff the statistics person asked what percentage success rate did this particular operation have:  92 - 95% was the surgeon's response.  Well, we were both leaning toward the surgical option, but hearing that was the final kicker toward doing it.

The thought of getting my life back is very appealing.  Obviously I don't want to do anything impulsive just to have that, but after more than six months of hurting, I'm at the point of being willing to try something different.

Oh, speaking of being scattered, the other great news is that the surgeon said I can stop taking Gabapentin!  Really happy about that - I might get my brain back to normal.  Or at least normal for me.

Worst. Ride. Ever.

Welcome to my roller coaster, where one thing gets helped but then another thing stands out more, pain-wise.  Tickets are free but you're gonna pay if you get on this ride, believe me.

After my two injections last Thursday, I waited both in anticipation of feeling like a new woman, and in dread of potential side effects that might make me feel horrible for days.  Well, neither really happened.

I don't feel like a new woman.  Yes, I do think the injections helped relieve some pain in my glute and down the outside of my thigh.  But - and I'm conjecturing here - I think that by easing that pain made the nerve pain from the herniated disc stand out more.  Or else it was a coincidence, but man, my standard pain areas (groin, front of thigh, knee) have been hurting bad.  Funnnn times.  So, since I was experiencing a pain flare, I increased my Gabapentin (the nerve medication) by an extra pill, taking two in the morning instead of one, with my standard two in the evening.  It's not like I decided to do this of my own volition; my pain management group told me I could take an extra Gabapentin if I was hurting a lot more.  More on that in a minute.

I was very apprehensive about side effects from the steroid injections thanks to my experiences in the past.  This go-round it was changed up and they used a different type of steroid for the injection in hopes of avoiding them.  I got the standard steroid flush on day two:

It looks like I used the wrong shade of blush for my skin tone...and swiped it over my nose and chin as well as my cheeks and then hit my neck and my chest for fun.

Once the flush appeared I braced myself for the rest of the side effects, but none came, can you believe it?  Something went well for me for a change.

And yes, I realize that more than one thing has gone well for me since this began, but living like this for so long is an emotional and physical roller coaster.  It's hard to make plans because I never know how I'll be doing - for example, we were invited to Logan's birthday party on Saturday afternoon and I didn't know if I'd actually get to go...it all depended on what the steroid did to me.  Thankfully I was able to attend (fun pictures to come in Friday's post), but it's so hard to get excited for something when you know your body might let you down.

Back to the Gabapentin:  I ended up having a pretty rough time with it; my hands were shaking much more than usual, distractions were at an all-time high, and my memory was shot.  So I dropped back down to my usual dosage yesterday.  Also yesterday, my PT gave me some exercises to try when that pain is really bad and after my visit I did feel better so maybe things are turning up.

See?  Roller coaster. 

I Feel Like a Pincushion

I was able to get the injection yesterday.  Well, injections.  Yes, two - one in the SI joint and one in the hip bursa joint.  I have to admit, I was much more apprehensive about this going into it because somehow it seemed like getting an injection into that teeny tiny space was going to hurt a lot more than getting an epidural injection in my back.

Prepped and waiting for the doctor to come in, getting more and more nervous by the minute. 

Turns out, I was right about the pain.  Really didn’t enjoy that, especially once the SI joint injection was finished, knowing that the bursa was next.  Needless to say I’m glad it’s over.  I took a quick picture of the X-rays and got the heck out of Dodge although it was a little late late for that, truth be told.

Left - bursa, right - SI joint.

I spent the rest of the day lying down to keep the steroid medication in place. Oh!  I forgot to say, they used a different type in hopes that I won’t get so sick from it.  So now the waiting game begins...will the injections work?  Will I wake up mostly pain free one day soon?  Will I avoid getting the awful side effects?  I have a feeling I’ll know the answers by the next time I will blog, which will be Wednesday since I’m taking Labor Day Monday off.

Have a great long weekend!

Herniated Disc Update #4

I had an appointment with the PA, Kristen, at my pain doctor's office last week.  Jeff met me there and I am really glad he did because I'd forgotten a lot of the oddities that had happened in the seven weeks since my last visit.

He brought up my blue fingers and the auditory hallucinations, as he called them - I just said there was a party happening in my head.  Off and on, I could hear the murmur of a group of people talking but couldn't really make out any words - it was like they were at a party in the distance.  Yes I know that is weird but it only lasted for a few days and I think it probably was related to going off the Butrans pain patch.

I was nervous to tell Kristen about my decision to not get another epidural steroid injection since the last one didn't help at all - I stayed the same, pain-wise.  Well, I didn't need to be worried; she listened to me and agreed that another injection wasn't in order, whew!  I know everyone is really kind and caring at my pain management clinic, but I rarely challenge a doctor so this was hard for me to do.

Kristen was very thorough with going back through her notes, confirming pain levels over the last several months, and not only where I was hurting, but things like the pins and needles at my knee - did it wrap around the leg or was it only in the front?  Although it happens constantly, I didn't know - isn't that funny?  I got the answer a few minutes later when the pins and needles started again:  it's only on the front.  It happened off and on during the appointment and I was glad that Kristen could see the frequency and also how I wasn't doing anything when they began.  We went over my prescriptions; I was only on Gabapentin at that point.  Oh and four Aleve a day.  Even with that, I still hurt.

That was the talking part of the appointment; next I sat on the exam table while she tested my leg strength.  Then the fun began, with her pressing on my back to see where I hurt.  My back was barely an ouch, but when she got down to my hip area, or the sacrum as I have learned, there were a lot of ouches, especially on the left side.  Then there was more talking:  she suspected that the reason why the last injection didn't help was because the previous one had done the trick and the herniated disc and fragment had moved off of the nerve root.  So the injection did nothing because there was nothing to be done...in that area.

Jeff and I got an anatomy lesson at that point, where Kristen showed on a skeleton model the area that was hurting on me.  She explained that everything sort-of overlaps in the back and one issue can lead to another, and I was experiencing sacroiliac joint pain, or SI pain as it's commonly known.  The areas where I was still hurting (glute, groin, leg) can be caused by the SI, and she was pretty confident that was where my lasting pain was coming from.  Of course Jeff and I both said "wait, was there a herniated disc??" and she said yes, very much so, as shown on the MRI.  So while the herniated disc is under control (fingers crossed, PLEASE BE SO), now we can see that the SI joint is inflamed.

The treatment for this?  Taking Meloxicam, an anti-inflammatory drug, plus getting an injection in that joint.  Yes.  Another injection.  Yippee.  Obviously I am not thrilled about that because of how sick I got from my last steroid injection, but if this works I will be mostly pain free and that will be worth it.  The good thing about this is that if the injection doesn't work, there are alternatives, such as a plasma-rich injection - but that isn't covered by insurance so we might as well start with the one that is.  Hopefully the steroid injection will happen later this week; my doctor's schedule is pretty full plus he's on call at the hospital, so we'll see.

If it sounds like I'm throwing everything at this and hoping something sticks, I kind of am...with the advice of competent medical professionals, of course.  But I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of not getting to do much because of the pain, and I'm tired of this dominating my life.

I'm still going to go to the neurosurgeon consultation appointment in September.  At this point I still want to hear what his take is on my injury and what he might recommend.  I don't think I need surgery but I'm not a doctor and I could be wrong - shocking, I know.

Geez Louise, Not Again

I wasn't sure what I would be writing about today but I didn't think it would be this, again.  But dang it, just when I think I'm doing better with my herniated disc, and that the pain I have on a daily basis is tolerable (albeit with Gabapentin), I have a day like Saturday that reminds me that I am not done with this yet, not by a long shot.

I did some things on Saturday that WERE NORMAL, sheesh, but by late afternoon I was hurting much more than I have been, and it kept getting worse.  And because I did some different things, I don't know what was the culprit, or if it was simply a case of overdoing it, which, come ON.

Possible culprits:

I sat on a metal chair at Blue Baker for a couple of hours.  But I've been doing this for a month now without extra pain, so I don't think this was it.

Then I vacuumed the tile floors for the first time in months (Jeff has been taking care of this since my injury).  Vacuuming is on the "don't do this" list, but we have a Dyson cordless stick vac, which is super lightweight.  I didn't even push it back and forth like I normally would; instead I held it close to my body and walk forward in straight lines.  OK a couple of times I bent forward to get it under some furniture, but I worked at doing it with the least possible movement.  I didn't even empty the dirt cylinder - I had Jeff do that because it does take effort to pop it open.

After lazing around for a few hours, Jeff and I went to the mall to see a pop-up art show put on by our local art league.  It's a small mall and we didn't have far to walk to get to the show, which was in an empty storefront.  The show wasn't huge and we made the circle a couple of times but didn't see anything that needed to come home with us.

Then we walked a little way past the art show and found a Van's store, which I had to go into because it reminded me of California.  After perusing everything and finding a cool t-shirt with the California bear on it but they only had mediums in women's sizes which are too small for me so sadly I left it there, I knew I'd had enough because I was starting to limp.  So we walked back to our car.

Since we were really close, we drove to Bahama Buck's to get sno-cones.  After several 100+ degree days with more to come, we thought that sounded good.  So did about one hundred other people but luckily we got in before most of the mob and Jeff was able to snag a table while I ordered.  Jeff took this picture of me because he said my teeth were turning green from my blue coconut sno-cone:

No green teeth here...my tongue was blue, though.  But you can see the line of people snaking around the place.  Also I put a filter on this shot because mannnnn, was I looking rough.  Freckles and wrinkles and no makeup, oh my!

We planned out meals for the coming week and then we went home because I was really hurting with sharper pains than I've had in a while.  This was disappointing as we figured the walking ended up being too much for me even though we'd only walked a short distance.

I pretty much spent the rest of the evening on my zero gravity chair, watching Veronica Mars - but hey, I finally made it to the newest season!

Yes we have a lawn chair in the living room - it adds to the decor, don't you agree?  Actually it's folded up against the wall next to the patterned chair when I'm not using it, but the color is right for the room, at least.

I went to bed in a lot of pain, thinking that the walking had caused this.  When I woke up on Sunday I remembered that I'd vacuumed before the walk.  So...was it the vacuuming?  Or the walking?  Or both?  It would be nice to know, but I'm not ready to try either anytime soon while I get past this flare of pain.  Oh and speaking of pain, I forgot that I could have taken an additional Gabapentin when the pain kicked in, instead of waiting to take my normal dose later in the evening.  Thank you side effects of Gabapentin for that...I forgot that I'm an active participant in my pain management.

Last thing:  At the urging of a lot of people, I've made an appointment with a neurosurgeon for a consultation about my herniated disc.  I do not want to have surgery.  But, as my PT pointed out, it might be good to know what is recommended, and if I didn't have surgery now (if the doctor does think it's necessary), what would I be looking at in a few years?  The appointment isn't for another month; I'll let you know how it goes afterward.

My Brain is Borked

I think I've mentioned that my brain has been foggy from the medicine I've been taking for my herniated disc, but it recently took a turn for the worse in the form of:

• Writing a check with the recipient's address in the dollar amount line.

• Forgot to click my usual payment method for a meal service that we've been using pretty regularly for about six months, so when Jeff was picking it up, they said I clicked cash and boy was that a lovely mix up.  Luckily they were really nice about it and let Jeff take the food without paying.  He did tell them "my wife doesn't make mistakes like this but she's on some medicine that's working against her brain" and they were all "oh we know she always pays, we'll just run the card" - which is what I always click as payment when I order online.

• Wrote a check to our yard guy and put his name in the dollar amount line.

• Finally picked up my knitting needles after several months off.  Continued with a sock that I'd started, going round and round for about an inch, which was fiddly on tiny needles but I did it.  Then it was time for the heel.  Had to look up how to do the heel I've done many times.  Fine.  Started that and about four rows in I'd both dropped a stitch and messed up a decrease.  At least I was able to rip it back to the beginning without too much trouble.

• Since socks seemed to be too challenging, I pulled out a prewound skein of larger yarn, got out bigger needles, and decided to cast on for an easy hat.  I had the yarn in my fingers correctly to begin the cast on, but had to stare at it for a minute before it came back to me as to how to do it.  Got the correct number cast on and joined in the round to begin the K2, P2 ribbing.  About 10 stitches in I realized I didn't actually join in the round and was just knitting a straight piece of fabric.  Undid those stitches and correctly joined it in the round.  Once again I began the K2, P2 ribbing.  Got to the very end of the round and it was evident I would end on a K2, which is wrong.  Looked back at my work to see if I went wrong toward the end, in which case I could tink back a few stitches, but no.  I did it at the beginning.  And then toward the middle.  Two mistakes on the first round?  Time to unravel and put it aside.

• I've been listening to a podcast while I do my PT exercises and I was telling Jeff about it - well, it's about a huge art theft from a museum decades ago and there's this psychiatrist who tricked a patient into giving him his house in the Hamptons and access to his fortune...and oh my god I've been listening to two different podcasts.  No wonder I'm confused.  The Shrink Next Door and Last Seen, in case you were interested/wondering.

There's been more, but you get the picture.  The reason behind this stems from me stopping the use of the Butrans pain patch, which is an opioid.  Basically I've been on one form or another of opioids for four months, and while I didn't have withdrawal symptoms (because the patch delivered a small amount of medicine every hour for 7 days, don't ask me how that works), I had the above-mentioned mistakes abound.  One sleepless night I googled opioid withdrawal and discovered something called post-acute withdrawal symptoms, or PAWS.

From Psychology Today:

Post-acute withdrawal varies in intensity and duration from one person to another; again, usually in correlation with the intensity and duration of one’s substance use. Its manifestations can fluctuate in severity, coming and going in wave-like recurrences, and include impairments in energy, concentration, attention span, memory, sleep, appetite, and mood—most commonly anxiety, irritability, anger, and depression.

Yep, that pretty much describes me, with the exception of depression because I'd started taking an antidepressant a month ago; I just couldn't stop crying, every day, for months.  My doctor said I had situational depression and once all of this is behind me, I most likely won't need what I'm taking.  Starting it before I stopped using the Butrans patch was an inadvertent stroke of good luck.

It figures that this has hit me - if I can experience side effects, it seems like I will.  Steroid injection?  Check.  Opioid withdrawal?  Check.  Chicken pox vaccine?  Check.  Oh yeah, let's not forget scopolamine (motion sickness patch) withdrawal - that was a fun one.  Can I just say that I'm getting tired of this?  Because I am.

If you see this person, treat her like a 3-year-old, please.

Oh - I wanted to stop using the pain patch to see if I was feeling better because I might be getting some relief from the steroid injection, or if I was just getting really good pain management.  It's a little of both - I do hurt a bit more, but so far I'm able to tolerate it without having to go back on the patch.  Now if I can just move beyond PAWS, that would be swell.

P.S.  One more thing to add to the list:  as I was typing this post, I noticed that my fingers were blue.  Turned them over and my palms were, too.  I kept thinking that I knew my jeans had been washed enough to not bleed dye onto my hands but that's what it looked like.  Finished the post and got up to wash the blue off my hands.  Hey guess what?  It didn't come off because my. hands. were. really. blue.  HOW did that not occur to me?  Sigh.  Borked brain.  Eventually they returned to normal, but geez.

Herniated Disc Update #3

Another month, another update.  Actually I was emailing my PT who had asked for my blog link and I was telling her how I started it in 2008 so I could have a place to go back and see how far I'd come and how much work I was putting into my diet and OH MY GOD I'm doing the same thing only for a herniated disc.  Isn't that a kick in the pants.

Well then.  It has only been three months since my saga of the disc began.  It feels like a lot longer than that, but I suspect that's what being in immense pain for more than two months will do to a person - it warps the timeline because of how long a day is when you hurt so bad.  I hope to NEVER hurt like that again.

My second epidural steroid injection gave me the pain relief I needed for about five weeks.  It wasn't 100% but it was a lot.  Then the nerve pain started to come back at the groin area and yes, you guessed it, I found that out when I sat down.  At least it didn't get horrible, but I was looking forward to my next injection very much.

I had my third visit with my pain doctor a week ago yesterday.  After listening to my list of issues he said he was encouraged at the news of the pins and needles that I have been feeling many many many times a day, from my just below my knee to the entire front of my shin.  He said that the nerve was waking back up which meant all of this was working.  I can put up with it; it's annoying as you might imagine, but it doesn't hurt, and if it means that I'm healing, then that's OK.

We went over my medications and I asked if I could stop using the Butrans patch, reason being that I'm feeling better - but am I feeling better because of the injection, or because of the pain meds, or both?  He was good with that and also good with my request for a prescription of the lowest dosage of Butrans just in case I end up feeling more pain than I'd like after I stop using the higher dosage patches.  I'd love to get by with just Aleve, and of course, the Gabapentin, which is the nerve medicine.

It looks like Gabapentin and I are going to be friends for quite a while.  I wasn't sure it was doing anything until I missed my evening meds one night; the following day my leg felt like it had creepy crawlies going up and down from the inside.  Which is different from the pins and needles, in case you were wondering.  Anyway, yes, it's working.  It's also giving me some lovely side effects in the form of brain fog, clumsiness, and shaking hands.  We discussed cutting down the dose but for now I'm going to try taking the entire dose in the evening to see if it helps with the side effects.

I appreciated it so much when my doctor and the woman in the treatment room - I know her name but not what her medical title is - both said independently of each other that they wanted me to be an active participant in my pain management and gave me the option to change up when I took the Gabapentin, and how if I had a particularly bad flare of pain, I could take an additional tablet earlier in the day, and also to call them if I felt like something wasn't working and they'd work with me to get me something that would help.  I don't have to wait six weeks between appointments to make a medicine change and that was good to hear.  I feel a little more empowered as I go through this herniated disc recovery.

I had my third epidural steroid injection that day, done the same way as the previous one, which was transforaminal (going in through the side of the vertebrae instead in the middle).  Everything went well, Jeff took me home to lay flat on the couch for the rest of the day, which I did like the model patient I am.  I felt really good the following day and even got myself dressed decently to go pick up a prescription and then go audition new purses:

Doesn't everybody empty out the paper stuffing from store purses and put the contents of their current purse inside to see if it's a good fit?  And then take some pictures so you can go home and ponder the finalists?  Also, ya think I like blue?  I didn't realize how much blue I had going on there, with my dress, phone case, and purse.  

Based on how things went for the last two injections, I knew that I'd feel crummy the second day after the injection and was prepared for a day of nausea and misery.  But it didn't happen, and I thought well hey, maybe my body is becoming accustomed to these steroid injections.

Uh, that would be a no.  Toward the evening I had the steroid flush - my cheeks got really red and I got hot.  My head got hot.  My hair got hot.  Oh yeah, and I was nauseated.  I went to bed with an ice pack on my head and a barf bag at my side, just in case.  The next day shaking was added to the aforementioned side effects.  And depression and despair because I was so freaking tired of feeling crappy.  The flush would happen, I'd run a little fever for an hour or so while my head was hot, and then it would ease up for a bit.  It was a rollercoaster of redness, hot hair, fever, shaking, depression, and despair (which are called 'mood swings' in the list of side effects...no, they are MOOD SWINGS) until Sunday morning.  I might get a few hours' relief and think OK, it's over and then bam, it would happen again.

I can't wait to get another injection in six weeks.  Said with some sarcasm.  OK a lot.  As long as I keep getting better and better I'll put up with the after effects, but I'm not looking forward to them...who would?

WWW - In Which I Go To Physical Therapy

I finally started physical therapy last week - Thursday, to be exact.  The reason why it took a while to get started was the therapist that I chose:  she is the owner of the practice and is the only physical therapist that patients see; as you might imagine, that appeals to a lot of people so she books up fast.  With an injury as complex as a herniated disc, I didn't want to be just another cog in the machine at a large physical therapy clinic, seeing whoever was open at my appointment time - I wanted a therapist who I could trust implicitly, and that is Amanda Lightsey.

I first met her about 15 years ago when I worked as a service associate at the physical therapy clinic of the local healthcare center - she was fairly new in her field but I saw how invested she was with each patient and I could tell she did good work.  Then several years ago while I was running one of our regular Saturday routes I passed a storefront with her name on it - she'd started her own practice!  I was really pleased to see that and tucked the info away in case I ever needed to go to physical therapy.  Boy howdy did that come true.  After the first session I knew I was right to wait to get into her practice - I left with a lot of hope for a full recovery from the herniated disc without having surgery.  Here's a picture of us after the second session:

Amanda and I - don't you love our matching pink sneakers?  If I hadn't known her for so long I would call her Dr. Lightsey, but she's still Amanda to me.

My first visit consisted of an evaluation, both physical, with Amanda taking measurements of how far I could move my legs in different ways, and practical, with questions on limitations that I was experiencing, etc.  Also there were tears when she asked how my injury had affected my social life.  Luckily she had Kleenex nearby.  She said it was quite normal for patients who had been active to go into a depression when everything is taken away, and through my tears I felt better knowing that this was a normal reaction to having your life turn to crap.

After the evaluation it was time to get down to business.  She showed me three different exercises to do, isolating certain areas as I did them.  One was to do a bridge using only your glutes to rise up, with no involvement of the abs.  Isolating just the one muscle group was hard, physically and mentally.  I have never had to use my brain so much to work out, but to quote Ralph Wiggum, I'm learning!

I did a couple other exercises including the log roll and the triangle tilt.  Even with the handouts she gave me, I was a little confused once I tried them at home, so I did my best but I was glad my second appointment was just a few days away.  Turns out I was nearly correct with the log roll, but the I needed a new tutorial with the triangle tilt.  I appreciated that Amanda had a different way to approach that one, and once she had me practice that way, I felt more confident with it.  I had her take some pictures of me doing it the right way so when I lost my bearings at home with it, I had a point of reference:

Everything begins with the glutes.

At my second visit not only did we take pictures, but she demonstrated two of the new exercises while I videoed them and that was super helpful later on at home - I'd watch the video to review, then do the exercise with more confidence.  The new exercises were Chaplins, sit and tilt (I've named that one, it had a four word name that was cumbersome and hard to say so sit and tilt it is, LOL), and the table top.  I was sweaty and my left leg was shaking like Jello when I finished that session.  I also felt so good!  I haven't been able to really move like that in a long time and I daresay I had the tiniest bit of endorphins kick in.

I'm to do my exercises 2 - 3 times a day, stopping each one when I'm fatigued.  At that point the form is lost and it's time to give my body a rest.  My left leg knee was pretty sore yesterday, in an area that is different from my normal nerve pain, so that's interesting and if it keeps up I'll email her to see if I should change things up, plus  all the muscles were sore in both legs.  I really got a work out!

After Monday's session I went directly to Starbucks and got an iced coffee:

Vanilla sweet cream cold brew - a nice treat after my intense PT session!  

I was surprised to receive a Starbucks gift card in my email shortly after Monday's post went live, with a nice note of encouragement from one of my readers, Karen R.  It made my day that someone who I've never met did something so nice for me.  Thanks again, Karen!

Herniated Disc Update #2

It's been a while since my last post about my herniated disc, so I thought I'd update you guys with what's been happening.  When I last left you, I had been given my first epidural steroid injection and was waiting for the steroid to kick in and relieve me of some of the nerve pain.  It never did, which was incredibly disheartening.  So except for the change in pain meds to a Butrans patch that I wore on my arm for a week at a time, nothing was different, including my pain levels.  We went to North Carolina as planned because I was tired of this injury stopping me from doing everything, and while I had some good distraction by being with Sam and my parents, I was hurting really bad and was taking Motrin all the time.

On the drive back, I was at a 9.5 on the pain scale, and feeling despair at ever getting better because the first epidural injection didn't work, the pain meds were barely helping, and I'd read a lot of stories online about other people living like this for years.  YEARS.  In tears (there's been a lot of tears since this happened), I called my pain management doctor's office and asked if I could get some prescription-strength ibuprofen.  Kristen, the PA, called me back said if I was needing to take that much Motrin, we needed to change the pain meds.  Luckily it was only changing the Butrans patch from 5mg to 10mg - nothing new since all of the previous pain meds I'd tried had made me incredibly nauseous, and increasing the dosage on Gabapentin, which is my nerve pain medicine.  Plus she told me to stop taking the Motrin altogether and take Aleve instead - two tablets every twelve hours.  I'm not sure what helped, or maybe it was everything, but I did get some relief and stopped wanting to throw myself out of the moving car.

While I was on the phone with Kristen I told her that I was worried about getting another epidural since the first one didn't work.  She went over my MRI again while talking to me, and said that there was more than one way to do the injection to get the steroid in the right spot, and she'd get with the doctor about me.  She was very reassuring and I had a glimmer of hope after talking with her, like maybe, just maybe, I might stop hurting so bad...most days my pain seesawed between a 7 - 8 on a scale of 10, with jabs of 9+ occasionally.

I still had about two and a half weeks to go until my second injection, so back to the couch for me for most of my day.  I still couldn't sit in a chair for more than a few minutes, if at all - there were many times when I'd sit down for dinner only to immediately stand up and I would have to eat my dinner while standing.  I also couldn't really drive because I couldn't sit upright in a car seat.  Oh and there was that whole brain fog from the pain meds thing, too - I couldn't concentrate enough to read a page from a book, or knit, or watch a movie.  I could make it through a short sitcom sometimes, but that was about it.  So mostly I was doing nothing.

This is a very isolating injury.  I went from going to BCS Fitness three times a week, and running three times a week - always with either a group at my workouts or with Jeff, Diane, and the Renegades - to nothing.  I was hurting too much to go out, and I couldn't drive, so I was home alone, miserable, and alternating between losing hope that I'd ever be without this excruciating pain to being optimistic that maybe my upcoming injection would work.  But mostly I was depressed.  I have gone through a lot of Kleenex since this happened.  Thankfully Diane came over just about every day after work and sat with me for a couple of hours, otherwise the only person I would see was Jeff.  I have a couple friends who check on me via text which is really nice.  But being cut off from about 98% of my social group contributed to my feeling of depression.

I'm not saying all of this to make you guys feel bad for me.  I'm documenting my experience with a herniated disc in case another sufferer comes across my blog; maybe they will feel a kinship with what I'm going through and maybe they won't feel so alone.  And maybe they'll get some hope from my treatment plan.

So.  That was the dark side of having a herniated disc.  I am now standing - no wait...SITTING - on the sunny side.  I had my second steroid epidural 11 days ago as of today and it has helped tremendously.  My team (PA and doctor) were hoping for 60% reduction in pain.  I would say I've gotten more like 80% and I am so relieved!  Not only for the pain mostly being gone, but because my doctor said that the MRI showed a fragment of the herniated disc had broken off and was pressing against the nerve right at L3, and if that injection didn't work, we would need to discuss getting with a neurosurgeon to remove the fragment and part of the disc.

The reason why this injection worked is because my doctor went in lower than the previous time.  This go-round he was right at the bottom of the L3 area, and kind of curved the needle around to right where the disc fragment was.  He touched the nerve a few times while making sure he was getting to the right spot and my leg zinged when that happened.  This took a little longer than the first injection but I didn't care as long as it worked.  And it did!  He does this under a live X-ray so he can see the needle and move it into position, injecting dye to check.  This is a picture of my spine with the needle in place, with the dye:

The injection sweet spot!

And now, I'm paranoid.  So many people have said that their injection only worked for a week, or two, or three, and then the pain came back.  Every time I sit down I wait for the familiar sharp pain to hit.  So far it's been good - none of that pain.  My thigh will still throb at times and my knee hurts, but nothing like before.  The only addition I've had is that when I stand up after I've been sitting, I get pins and needles from my knee down for a few minutes.  This happens every time I sit.  It's annoying but I'm used to it.

When an injection works, the next one will help even more - it's a cumulative effect.  I am scheduled for another injection in early July and am hoping to get one more before September 1, when our year begins again with insurance.  And then I don't think I will need any more injections for a while, which would be fine with me.

I have to be very careful with my spine, even though it never hurt and still doesn't.  But the point of these injections is to get some of the swelling down from the herniated disc to take the pressure off the nerve root.  I'm not to lift anything above my head, or bend forward too much, or lift much of anything at all.  It's hard to remember to be cautious sometimes because it's automatic with me to do normal things like bending down to unload the dishwasher and taking out several heavy Fiestaware plates to put in the cupboard.  So even though I'm feeling better, most of the housework is still on Jeff.

I had my first physical therapy appointment last week and my second one is later on this morning.  I'll write more about that on Wednesday.

So...after two and a half months of pure hell, I finally got some relief from the pain.  I credit having a doctor who is a working anesthesiologist and has the knowledge to do the injection a different way, and for the skill to move that needle around to just the right spot.  This is why I chose him when I was first diagnosed with a herniated disc - I checked out all of the pain management places in town and I liked the idea that he was still working at hospitals, helping patients with different needs, and not just running a pain clinic.

Thanks for sticking with me over the last few months - I am hoping SO MUCH that the second injection is signaling the beginning of the end of this nightmare.  Nerve pain is unbearable and I would not wish it on anyone.  Now, please keep your fingers crossed for me that the injection lasts for the entire six weeks.

Look at me, sitting and blogging like a normal person!

I Turned 106 Years Old Yesterday

Not really, I actually only turned 56, but I've been feeling like I'm about 106 for the last couple of months, so there you go.  Instead of marking my birthday with a run, I marked it with food...I'll have more on that in Wednesday's post.  After last year's 5.5 mile run where I ended up getting heat exhaustion I swore off running that many miles in June because in case you haven't heard, it's freaking hot in Texas in June.

I had hoped to do something different to mark the occasion, either by running .56 miles or by doing something with 56 reps or calories burned at my workout, but nope, that was not happening.  Which is just another reason why I've been feeling so old and decrepit - this person who has pretty much laid on the couch for the last two months is not who I am.  Well, it is.  But I don't like it.

I've really not felt any particular age as I've moved through life - I've just been me, at whatever age, living life.  But as my birthday got closer, it was a reminder that I AM GETTING OLDER.  I know, I'm as shocked as you are!

This is the first year where I haven't been able to meet my new age with as much acceptance as I have in years past.  I mean, I'm OK with being 56, but I'm not so OK with being 56 and having a herniated disc that apparently will always be around, interrupting my life and providing me with the worst kind of pain I've ever experienced.  Nonstop pain.  And apparently even if I get better, I will not be able to do certain physical activities ever again, unless I want to make this issue even worse.  Which I do not, believe me.  It's the pain and limitations that make me feel like I'm 106 instead of 56.  I don't know what is ahead of me as I go through life as a 56-year-old and for the first time, I'm a little fearful of what it might be.

All that aside, I did have a good birthday.  The epidural steroid injection that I had on Thursday afternoon seems to have helped a bit, which made it easier to contemplate putting on a decent outfit and going out to brunch, and I'm glad, because brunch was delicious and I was able to sit at a table for an hour and a half!  Just a week ago I couldn't have done that for more than five minutes, so let's hear it for the miracle of modern medicine!

Once I got dressed and made up, I had Jeff take my picture, of course:

Me at 56 - I was surprised to still fit into my smaller clothes considering all of the lying around, no workouts/running, and loss of muscle tone.

I looked so tired in the full-body shot that I had to take a selfie in portrait mode - I don't know what happens with that setting, but my eyes looked a lot perkier!

Later on, a selfie wearing my birthday gift from Jeff - new sunglasses!

Even more later on, Diane came by with a plethora of birthday goodies to spoil me, including flowers, summery balloons, and one that says it all - It's all about ME on my birthday!

I had lots of well wishes via email, text, and Facebook, and I spoke to my parents too.  All in all, not bad for turning 106...er, 56.

Silo District 5K Race That I Didn't Run Recap

The medal.  It's simple and goes along with the Magnolia look - Karen and I liked it but Diane thought it was too plain.

Shirt front and sleeve detail - it's a unisex technical shirt.  I like the design and the shirt color - last year's was white, and for some reason I don't like wearing white technical shirts.

On Sunday I did not run the Silo District 5K.  This is yet another race that I signed up for and couldn't run - I'm amassing quite the collection of race shirts that I paid for but didn't actually get to do, thanks to my herniated disc.  I wish I could have run this race because the route for the 5K is really nice - I enjoyed it last year and had been looking forward to this particular race for that reason.

I passed my bib on to Jeff - yes, it's against the rules but I'm a renegade and at this point I really don't care.  This is more of a casual race because a lot of the participants are Fixer Upper/Magnolia fans who come from all over the country, and there's a lot of walkers  I told him to not win my age group and he'd be fine.  This was the first time he ran the Silo race and he liked it.  The weather was nice - overcast and fairly cool considering it was late April.  It's doubtful that we'll run this race again, for reasons I'll get into in a minute, but first, here's the details of our day.

There were only five of us going to this race, so we carpooled - Jimmymeow drove, with Karen in the wayback, Jeff and Diane in the back seat, and me in the front, reclined to keep the pressure off of my leg nerve.  We needed to arrive early enough to get our bibs (more on that in a minute), plus we knew we had to park at Baylor University and take the bus to the Silos.  I got up at 3:30 am, dressed and took my pain medicine and anti-nausea medicine, threw an extra anti-nausea pill in my purse just in case, and we were on the road by 4:00 am.  It's about 85 miles to Waco.  We made good time but had a little trouble getting to the parking area because roads were already closed for the race.  Eventually we parked and walked to the buses, where we got on and rode to the Silos.

My plan for the day was to do as little walking as possible because while I was feeling OK, I didn't want to overdo it and end up feeling horrible afterward.  That plan was thwarted when the bus stopped to let us off.  We were nowhere near the Silos!  The race crew at the bus stop told us to go down the street, make a right, walk four blocks (!) and we'd be there.  What the what?  The trolleys usually stop right in front of the Silos!  This ended up being at least half a mile, which normally is no big deal for me, but on Sunday, it was a big deal.  Jeff and I slowly made our way there - at least we had plenty of time for that walk but seriously, they could have had a closer bus stop!

Grumbling ahead:

Bib pick up is why this race has been crossed off my (and Karen's, and Diane's) list.  The organizers announced that each runner had to pick up their own bib at the expo, which was held in Waco on Friday and Saturday.  You weren't allowed to pick up bibs for friends.  Runners from Austin, Dallas, and yes, College Station were telling them that making (for us) a 170 mile round trip the day before the race to pick up a bib was excessive, especially when they weren't allowing extra bibs to be picked up.  At first they said no bib pick up at all on Sunday, but eventually they amended that decision.  After emails and Facebook posts questioning this decision, they stood firm on this, saying that you could pick up your bib before the race but you couldn't get your race shirt and swag bag until after.

I still can't figure out why they made this policy, because they allowed for one person to pick up extra bibs last year.  And every race that we've done allows this - even the big races, like Houston!  It was really irritating because that meant we had to get there even earlier than necessary to get the bibs.  And then knowing we had to go back to the tent to pick up the shirt and swag afterward added to the irritation.  They were insistent that you had to show your ID to get your bib, so when we got to the tent, I held out my ID and the volunteer said "just tell me your name, it's too dark and I can't read it" - seriously?  After all the fuss about ID?  That was the kicker to this whole mess.

I'll be honest, I had to work really had to not let myself get soured on Magnolia in general.  I really like Magnolia Market and the Silos; it's a lovely place to visit and everything there is done so well.  The race organizers, though, could have taken a page from how Magnolia accommodates their guests and made packet pickup a better experience.  At $45, this race is pretty expensive for a 5K - it's a fundraiser for cancer research which is great and why I didn't mind paying so much.  But don't make it so difficult for Texans who live in outlying areas to get their stinking packets!  It's off my list for the future.

OK, back to the actual race.  The grounds were much less crowded this year which was great for us - we snagged a coveted picnic table with a shade canopy which made hanging around very pleasant:

Jeff, Diane, Karen, and Jimmy, chilling before the race started.

This made everyone laugh:  Diane had just secured her bib to her shirt with race dot magnets when we heard a PING - one had stuck to the metal pole!  Those are some strong magnets!

Not impossible for these three.  Impossible for me, unfortunately.

It was time for Jeff, Karen, and Diane to walk to the 5K start line - from last year's experience we knew they should try to get close to the starting line because they do wave starts and it was 20 minutes before we crossed the starting line last year.  They did get in the first wave and had some time to play around taking pictures before the race began:

Cute...

And slightly disturbing, at least on Jeff's part, LOL.

Meanwhile Jimmy and I had a cup of coffee and relaxed.  There were girls riding bicycles around, handing out Target-branded sunglasses, so we got a pair, and then we also got a free Popsicle:

Neither of us had had a Popsicle in years so that was a fun treat.

Soon enough it was time for Karen to be coming in, so Jimmy went to the finish line to take her picture.  Jeff was right behind her; they both went to the tent to pick up the shirts and swag bag and then came over to the picnic table where I had been waiting:

I like it!  Jeff tried to take it but NO SIR.  He got the medal and the race experience.  I get the shirt and the bag.

Karen changed clothes and then she and I headed over to Magnolia Market to shop - I'd had my eye on a hand thrown sugar and creamer set since January, and they were now on sale so I grabbed them:

Shown with a coffee mug so you can see how tiny they are.  They might be perfect for holding my little knitting accessories - wouldn't that be cute?

...and then we walked around.  I like Karen's decorating sense - she is really creative and uses things in unusual ways that end up looking so good.  I have a long blank wall in my dining area that I've struggled to figure out what to do with, and in walking around the shop, we came up with putting a mix of large and smaller objects on that wall to fill it in while keeping it interesting.  I took pictures of some things that might work, and did buy two galvanized metal/glass vase sconces that could hold anything from seashells to flowers.  I'm not hanging them up until I have enough items to arrange, but at least now I have a starting point.

We got in the long line to check out and my nausea came on really strong.  I was hanging on, hoping to get through my purchase without having to abandon my goodies and rush outside; I made it to the cashier who rang everything up quickly and I swiped my card and signed.  Then Karen was by my side; I told her I was getting sick and ran out of the shop to get some fresh air while she stayed as the cashier wrapped everything up.  I bought a bottle of water and took the anti-nausea pill in my purse.  I was shaking and sweating and felt really horrible.  Eventually I felt OK enough to walk back with Karen to our table.  I laid on the bench and tried to recover while everyone was digging out food from their swag bags for me - because we'd gotten up so early I hadn't thought about eating breakfast and that probably didn't help with how nauseated the pain medicine makes me.  I'm irritated that on top of not getting to run - or even walk - the race, I ended up feeling crummy for a couple of hours as well.

After a while we walked to Hecho en Waco, the Mexican restaurant located just a few hundred feet from the Silos.  I got a Mexican Coke and had some salty tortilla chips to help settle my stomach; it was a very leisurely lunch so by the time our food came, I felt like eating again.  Afterward, Jeff and Jimmy headed back to the bus area to get the car while Karen, Diane, and I hung around the courtyard of the restaurant and shops.  Naturally, we had to play around with the props there:

King T-Rex.

Karen on her throne - it felt appropriate considering the big battle would be happening later that evening on Game of Thrones and she is a huge fan.

We drove back to College Station and were home by 1:00 pm - it felt so funny to have done so much and still have most of the day ahead!  Jeff hit the hammock and I hit the couch for some much-needed naps.  This was a fun adventure with our Renegade friends even with the hiccups.  Hopefully our next one will go a little smoother and not only will I not get barfy, I might even get to run the race!