Wednesday, June 24, 2009

New Size and a Reality Check

Have you ever been eating your beloved Fage/strawberry/Kashi Golean Crunch combination and wondered to yourself "How old is this yogurt?" And then kept on eating it? No? Just me, then? Hmmm. Must start checking expiration dates more often.

Annnnnd in other news...last week, while Barbara and I were shopping, I took a pair of size 12 jeans to try on for shiggles. (My son Max's term...combination of sh*ts and g*ggles - cracks me up, juvenile that I am!) Anyway, I did not think I could fit into them, but whatever, we were having fun, trying on crazy things. Yeah, so they fit. What?!? Of course, you know I had to go out and find more size 12 pants - capris, actually - and they all fit! When did this happen??? Needless to say, there was much joy in the Kohls dressing room! (You knew I just had to introduce Barbara to the wonder that is Kohls...she was all "this is great, and there is a Kohls near my Mom's house - I'll have to shop there" so Kohls, if you're listening, you owe me one!)

Back to the story...I know, you're thinking that this is worse than a Paul Harvey times ensued with me realizing that I really wear size 12 now - and am truly in size large tops - the XL's all hang off of me now. I bought a pair of black bermuda shorts (which actually look like capris on my short body) and a cute purple t-shirt and felt positively tiny!

And then reality hit, when I decided to try on some sleeveless workout tops - it has been so freaking hot here lately, I figured that I would get over my embarrassment about my still-flabby upper arms in the name of coolness. I had forgotten - possibly because I don't go sleeveless and therefore don't see it - that years ago, when I was in my early thirties, I had been very sick with pseutotumor cerebri, and was placed on a horrendously high dosage of prednisone, and ended up with these weird, wide, jagged stretch marks that look like scars in my underarm area. Ugh - it was so ugly to see, and brought me back down to earth fast...there is no way I can ever expose my arms to the world when they look like that!

It was pretty depressing, and I had to face the fact that while there are tons of cute sleeveless tops and sundresses in the stores, for me, no matter how thin I get,or how high the temperature rises, won't be ending up in my closet. Oh reality, you can be so mean sometimes.


  1. LOL re the Fage expiration dates! I've eaten my share of expired Fage . . . I usually buy a bunch of it at a time, since a less-convenient grocery store has a much better price on it than my usual store.

    Congratulations on the size 12 . . . it must feel so great to be able to shop comfortably in the normal-size section. I can't wait to join you there :)

    FWIW, I'd like to encourage you to go ahead and give those sleeveless workout tops a try - you've come a long way, you look great and you deserve to be comfortable! Our flaws are so much more noticeable to us than they are to others . . . especially when trying on clothes, it's so easy for us to hyperfocus on a particular flaw, but others just see the whole person. Even if you happen to have your arms in position so others could see the scars, they'll probably be looking at your face and never even notice them. And if they do notice, they probably wouldn't think much of it . . . nobody is perfect, and scars are just evidence of how strong we are and how far we've come in our journeys.

  2. Congrats on the size 12! That's awesome! :)

  3. I agree with Ria! You notice it much more than anyone else and aren't scars supposed to make you a bad-ass? :) Last night when I was getting ready to go to my concert I was wearing a black tank top and wished like hell I could just wear it without the shirt I was putting on over it! Congrats on the 12's. You're doing so well!!

  4. What a great reward....size 12. Congrats on that. As for the shirts, I agree also with Ria. You should be comfortable & wear what you want as long as you're happy with it. Have you ever heard the saying "It's not your business what other people think of you"? I think it might apply here. Don't put self-imposed restrictions on yourself; you've come a long way & look great!

  5. Congrats on the size 12s!! I agree with the others about the arm situation. Our flaws are always so glaring to us, but others don't notice. Be proud of how far you've come and don't let your negative features (and everyone has them, I bet even Angelina Jolie has some negative feature about her body) take over.

  6. Congrats on the size 12! I thought I heard a happy shout in the air.

    I'm with you - no matter how hot it gets I will never be one sporting a sleeveless top. It will just never happen. Luckily there are still a lot of cute things out there with sleeves.

  7. I sort of gagged a little with the expiration date stuff...I am a nutball when it comes to expired, or near expiring dairy/meats.

    Yay for size 12, that is great. And I am with the others who say wear those sleeveless shirts and rock them out!

  8. I'm with everyone else, go with the sleeveless tops. People don't come up to you and give your body a close inspection, you know. We worry so, but I think we worry for no reason most of the time.

    A great-big CONGRATS on size 12s! WOO HOO

  9. I agree with everyone else. Wear the sleeveless tops. I was watching David Letterman a few weeks ago and they had a guest on (can't remember her name, but she hosts a cooking show and is a model). Anyhow, she is gorgeous and has a huge scar on her entire upper arm from a car accident when she was a teen. She was saying that she loves her scar because it help make her who she is. It's a good reminder that everyone has something that's not so perfect about their bodies.

    Way to go on fitting into the size 12s.

  10. Congratulations on the new size! I have a size 12 pair of carpris set aside as my "dream" pants. I hope to fit into them someday soon! Capris fit me like regular pants, bermudas like capris too. The joys of being 5' tall....

  11. GFY to fit into a size 12! That is an awesome victory!

  12. Well, regardless of your decision about the sleeveless shirts, the reality is you look amazing and Ria is really Really right--instead of seeing those scars as a negative, view them as a badge of honor for the hard work that you have done.

  13. Double high fives on the new size! I had the exact same size 12 moment in a Kohls. It's almost religious, ain't it?

    I'll admit that I've kept greek yogurt waaaaay past the expiration date. I figured that stuff is so fermented anyway...

    Now, baby carrots on the other hand? Uh, no. The grocery store just sold the hubs a bag of baby carrots that were 3 WEEKS past expiration (Clevelanders don't eat raw's a local thing I guess). I found out after I noticed the fungal taste and black spots. *shudders*

    I just know you look smokin' in the new outfit. Can't wait to see some pics. *nudge* *nudge*

  14. P.S.

    No one will mess with you in a sleeveless top. I'd do it.

  15. you know what I think.
    and if you dont? email me and I shall send you a TOME all about it.

    reality is tellin you NOTHIN'---its all in the eye of the beholder and what WE BEHOLD is your awesome success!!

    come by MizFit next week.

    TUESDAY to be specific.

    and then do what the tornado and I did yesterday :)

  16. Try something (humor old Lynn for a moment) will you? Start wearing sleeveless shirts once in awhile in the privacy of your own home. I started doing that when I lost 60 pounds and was down to about 240. I didn't go "public" with the sleeveless look until I'd gotten to goal, but by the time I got to goal, I was much less self-conscious because I'd gotten used to looking at myself with no sleeves. Just a thought.

    Congrats on the size 12s! Next stop: 10s :)

  17. Reading this post made me so happy! I'm new to blogger, so still exploring to find some blogs that I can relate to. I clicked to follow you right away! Congrats on the size 12!

    And babe, I promise that you are way more aware of those scars than anyone else would ever be! I doubt many people would even notice them there!

  18. Doing the size 12 happy dance for you!!

    I concur - go sleeveless anyways!

  19. Yup, I am guilty of eating yogurts and not checking the expiration dates. My stomach is made out of rocks because I feel fine, but when they hubby and son eats it they get really sick. Congrats on size 12 pants, I can't wait to get back to that size!

  20. Congratulations on your size 12! Kohl's was the first place I was able to fit into a size 12 too! It feels so great, doesn't it. It's my favorite store.
    And you should wear those sleeveless tops. You've come such a long way, and especially when you're working out you deserve to be comfortable! I wore a sleeveless dress to a work function today (my arms are far from gorgeous as I still have bat wings) but it felt great.

  21. size 12 is are getting so close to the single digits...that is AMAZING.

    Now that you have so much momentum I bet you will just be dying to get back to your workout routine after your surgery!

  22. Wowowowow! Size 12! Good for you!
    You could even stop dieting now - size 12 is average, after all.
    Regarding the yoghurts - don't worry too much about the "expiration dates". First off, they aren't "expiration" dates, they are "sell by" dates, which by law implies that they still will be good to eat after that date. This is true of all dairy products. Second, they are a lacto-fermented food. Lacto-fermentation is how people preserved food prior to the availability of refrigeration. The yoghurt baccili (sic?) prevent bad bacteria from taking hold in the yoghurt, and protect it that way. So no worries.


Comments are now moderated to prevent spammers from leaving, well, spam - but rest assured that as soon as I read a real comment, I will publish it. So please, comment away, even though the blog is officially closed. Thanks!