Monday, September 25, 2017

A Good Place

I wasn't aware of this until recently, but I've been in a good place for a while now in regard to my size.  I guess I didn't grasp this because I wasn't having angst over how my clothes were fitting, or how I was looking in them...funny how you can be unhappy with yourself and know it, but being content?  It was just happening, if that makes sense.  But while we were in Santa Fe and I was looking at the pictures that my brother took each day, I realized that I didn't hate how I looked in them - and he took a lot of pictures, so there were plenty of opportunities for me to pick apart my appearance, but I didn't.

Here I am, looking like a normal person:
(afternoon iced tea break)

Happy normal:
(new earrings selfie)

Thoughtful normal:
(at a museum - part of my brother's "doorway series" of photos)

Walking away normal:
(how many times have you seen a picture of yourself from behind and been OK with it?)

Nothing has really changed - I've been the same size for quite a while now - but I've figured out what styles of clothing makes me look and feel good vs what makes me feel fat and blobby, and while I don't own a lot of clothes, what I do have, I love, and that's what I wear.   For example, I stepped outside my normal blue-colored denim box over the summer and bought myself a pair of olive green ankle pants, and I feel so good when I wear them - they are just different enough for me, but the cut and fit are perfect.

Also over the summer, I ordered and returned about five tops in various sizes - I ended up keeping two of them that I love, but what I discovered is that regardless of the size (and depending on the top, I fit into a medium all the way to an extra large), I look best in petite-length tops...and that made me cull my closet because once I realized that, I saw that every top I owned that I felt not-so-great in?  They were all too long and overwhelmed my short legs.  To the Goodwill bag they went!

Regarding clothing sizing - I let go of feeling good or bad about a size when I shopped for denim capris a while back.  On the same day, I fit into four different sizes depending on the manufacturer and style of capris - FOUR SIZES!!!  That's when I decided it was ridiculous to look at sizing as anything other than a random number on a tag.  Since then, I bring in (or order online) several sizes of the same style to try on and choose the one that fits me properly, not the one with the number I think I should be.

And as long as I'm writing about sizing, I'll confess to accidentally buying a much larger size of running capris than I normally do from Old Navy several months ago.  I'd already ripped off the tags when I put them on to go for a run and that's when I realized my mistake.  But you know what?  They are damn comfortable!  Turns out, I like super loose capris - they aren't tight at all around my stomach, and since I wear a running skirt over them (with built-in shorts), they can't fall down.  Just another way I'm in a good place - old me would have rejected the capris based on the size, since it's an early-weight-loss size for me.  New me?  Who cares about the size...it's much nicer to run in looser fabric!

Once upon a time I lost a lot of weight.  And I started exercising and became an active person.  I haven't kept off all of the weight that I lost, but I have kept off a lot - and in the process, I've become content with my body.  I like where I'm at and what I'm noticing in pictures - I'm able to live a happy, fun life without having to be super-stringent about everything that I eat, and I'm keeping up with family and friends in the activity department.  There IS a good place, and I've found it.

28 comments:

  1. Yay for peace, contentment, comfort, confidence - all the good things!

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    1. They sure are - and I'm glad to be aware enough to see them. :)

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  2. Hurrah! I'm so happy for you! I'm still on the way there!

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  3. So happy for you! Love what you said about sizing - the difference in size from brand to brand, and sometimes even within the same brand, is crazy!!

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    1. Sizing is so weird - I never understood anyone who said they wanted to get back into a certain size because honestly, you can find that size somewhere...

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  4. Gosh, this is SO refreshing to read! Doesn't it feel good to feel good in your skin?

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  5. I love this post! It is amazing how the right clothes can make us feel regardless of what the size of the tag says! You look great in all the pictures!

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  6. I love everything about this post. Truth be told, it's where everyone really wants to be. I know some people who lost boatloads of weight and are super skinny but are never, ever content. Who wants to live like that? Not me! And as Mr. Helen always says, if that number in those jeans is making you feel inadequate, something else is wrong, and just cut it out!

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    1. I've seen some weight loss bloggers who got to their goal weight and still weren't content with their body - and sure, I could pick apart my flaws, but why?

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  7. This post is so awesome and I'm glad you are in a good place! What an amazing feeling! :)

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  8. Awesome post. I'm so glad that you've found your happy place.

    I think that's one reason I kept returning to your blog after I found it. You're a "normal" person who's active and upbeat and very supportive of others.

    You're happy with YOU and it shows!

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  9. What a great post. Practically an unheard-of sentiment, unfortunately. I wish more women would begin to feel this way about themselves. You have encouraged me to try on a different style of pants! And yes!! to the petite tops.

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    1. I've been amazed at how good I can feel in a pair of pants, and equally, how crummy I can feel in another pair, all on the same day.

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  10. This is fantastic! What a great place to be. :)

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  11. That feeling of contentment is a fabulous outcome of all your hard work, both physically and mentally. It's a happy place that no fluctuation in weight or training or menu can mess with. I need to adopt your attitude! Thanks for keeping it real out there, Shelley!

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    1. Well, it's definitely taken me a lot of years to come around to this, that's for sure! :)

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  12. Wow. I like this post, Shelley. I love that YOU see that your body is normal. Bc yes it is. And being at peace with a shot from the back is a real sign of normal, or arrival, imo. Woo! All the heart eyes.
    Chrissy

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    1. Thanks, Chrissy! Always so nice to hear from you. :)

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  13. You look fab!

    I do wear tights/capris under my skirts.

    I prefer my clothes loose. I wear petit pants although I am 5'4 because I have short legs.

    I have to declutter my closet - so many items I don't wear and wonder why I bought them.

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    1. Thanks! And yeah, I definitely had some "why did I ever buy this" regrets when I culled my closet recently. I'm trying to buy only what I can honestly say that I love - and if I don't love it in the store, I'm not buying it.

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  14. Bravo Shelley! I am so glad you are in a happy place and it really shows in your pictures.

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  15. Yay for being in a good place! I love hearing this :) I do the same stuff you do with size. I just grab several and try them all on. My range is all over the place - and I just want stuff that flatters me, like you do!

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