Monday we did the "Sweaty Sixty" in the gym, for time. This involved a series of stations where we had to do 60 reps at each station before moving on. Now, I'm slow. I'm a slow runner, I'm a slow (weight) loser, and I'm slow in the gym. Obviously, my speed is 33 1/3, while it seems like the rest of the world is playing at 45. (For those of you who are too young to know what I'm referring to, the hint is vinyl). Most of the time, this doesn't bother me. But this week, it has. I'm always last in finishing these workouts. Last. Behind people that, on the surface, seem to be in worse shape than me. It's discouraging. Couple that with getting weighed, measured and having our body fat percentage checked with Brad's new hand-held monitor for our Spring Fit Point Challenge, and you have one unhappy camper. My weight has stayed the same. My body fat? After losing 100 pounds? Thirty-four percent. That's right folks - I am one-third fat. Have I mentioned that this is AFTER I've lost 100 pounds? Geez, I would hate to know what that number was before I started my weight-loss journey. Although, come to think of it, I probably wouldn't be as upset with whatever number it was, because I was really overweight. But now? I'm not that overweight. Apparently I'm retaining a large amount of fat, though.
So there was my Monday. I was upset all day long. A few tears may have been shed.
On to Tuesday. Jenny, who got to witness my meltdown in the gym on Monday, offered to go running with me even though her foot was still sore. She is such a sweet, caring friend - I cannot tell you how much her encouragement has meant to me. We met at our park in the morning and had a good run - well, good for me. Her foot was really hurting and she ended up having to walk, which is frustrating for her. I got 2.78 miles in, which was good. Came home, showered and dressed in fresh gym clothes for my 4:00 pm workout. It was going to be hot on Tuesday afternoon, so I dressed in my new workout shorts. I was going to force myself to wear shorts, for the first time ever, to the gym. I figured if I wore them all afternoon, I would be comfortable enough to do it. I even took a couple of pictures - white legs and all. So 3:30 rolls around - time to lace up my gym shoes and head on out. Guess what? I couldn't do it. Ended up wearing my workout capris - back to my comfort zone. My thighs are muscular, but over the muscle is a nice layer of jiggly fat - pale, jiggly fat. And even though it was 79 degrees outside, my discomfort at seeing those thighs exposed was more than the discomfort I would feel at being overheated. Capris it was.
Caution: legs in picture are paler in real life - do not approach without wearing dark sunglasses!
Which I paid for dearly, as we had a team workout - Becky and I against three other ladies, and Becky and I had to draw straws to see who got to wear the 20 lb. weighted vest during the entire workout. I was the winner(?). Ever tried jumping rope with a weight vest? You get winded quick! I also had to do the rower, run on the treadmill, do ab crunches (on a Swiss ball, luckily), hip adductors and push ups - OMG, the push ups nearly killed me. I did ten from the toes before switching to my knees (which I don't normally do anymore) - I just couldn't move my body otherwise! When we were finally done (we lost - no surprise as the 3 vs. 2 team got done faster) and I got to remove the vest it was like I was floating on air! And had lost 20 pounds! Can't believe that I've lost a total of five of those vests. Of course, there is no way I could be doing those workouts if I were still at my starting weight.
Wednesday brought the Easter Candy workout (you know how Brad loves his holiday themes). For cardio, an Easter basket was brought out, we were paired up, and had to dig for our candy treat - which instead of getting to eat, we had to work off the calories! First up, Michelle and I got a cute carrot-shaped bag of Reeses Pieces. One serving (the bag was two servings!) was 110 calories. Our machine was the treadmill - one of us ran to exhaustion, then we switched. While the non-runner was waiting, we got to do things like crunches, wall sits, plank holds - fun fun! Then we got to choose another candy treat - and this time it was that cute tube of M&M's - you know, the one that has a plastic topper in the shape of the red M&M guy on it? That tube where you pop the top off and pour the M&M's into your mouth? Yeahhhhh...that freakin' tube has a total of 420 calories' worth of candy in it! I was shocked, because I remember how fast I used to down those suckers. Luckily Linda took pity on us and only had us work off half of a serving, which was 105 calories on the rower. I swear, I'll never look at those little tubes of M&M's the same way again!
Gym time brought a machine of destiny workout with negatives, which I loathe. Put that with it being Wednesday and I am still feeling Monday's workout in my quads, Tuesday's workout all over my body, and I was just not doing well. Negative bench press means that the trainer (Linda) provided resistance on the way down - lift up, ok, down - you are resisting her pushing the bar. If you stopped to rest, the count started going backward. Let's just say that I was in the 20's for a long time. Them, my nemesis - negative leg presses. I know a lot of it is mental with these, because I am usually so sore for days afterward - it's hard to start something when you know you will be feeling it for so long. Plus, my head has just not been in a good place this week. Brad was doing the resistance on these, and again, my count started going backwards while I was still in the teens! This was rough. Did not think I would get through them, but I finally did. My fellow sufferers - er, gymmates - were cheering me on through the last few - as my eyes were both closed and full of tears I didn't see them but I did hear them, and that meant a lot to me.
So this week of workouts is done. It's been rough. I feel fat and blobby and slow as a slug. I actually tried on my size 8 Bermuda shorts to see if they really fit - that's how off my mind has been. I'm hoping I will snap out of this funk soon. I know this isn't my normal "Yay, I made it through another week of workouts" post. Sorry, I just wasn't there. And it's not for a lack of support from Brad and Linda - they are really good about seeing when I am in a bad place and certainly tried to boost my spirits up. In the end, it's all on me, and I have to believe that I am doing good. I'm trying.