Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Wednesday Workout Update

It was a rough week for me, not just with my workouts but with my mental state.

Monday we did the "Sweaty Sixty" in the gym, for time. This involved a series of stations where we had to do 60 reps at each station before moving on. Now, I'm slow. I'm a slow runner, I'm a slow (weight) loser, and I'm slow in the gym. Obviously, my speed is 33 1/3, while it seems like the rest of the world is playing at 45. (For those of you who are too young to know what I'm referring to, the hint is vinyl). Most of the time, this doesn't bother me. But this week, it has. I'm always last in finishing these workouts. Last. Behind people that, on the surface, seem to be in worse shape than me. It's discouraging. Couple that with getting weighed, measured and having our body fat percentage checked with Brad's new hand-held monitor for our Spring Fit Point Challenge, and you have one unhappy camper. My weight has stayed the same. My body fat? After losing 100 pounds? Thirty-four percent. That's right folks - I am one-third fat. Have I mentioned that this is AFTER I've lost 100 pounds? Geez, I would hate to know what that number was before I started my weight-loss journey. Although, come to think of it, I probably wouldn't be as upset with whatever number it was, because I was really overweight. But now? I'm not that overweight. Apparently I'm retaining a large amount of fat, though.

So there was my Monday. I was upset all day long. A few tears may have been shed.

On to Tuesday. Jenny, who got to witness my meltdown in the gym on Monday, offered to go running with me even though her foot was still sore. She is such a sweet, caring friend - I cannot tell you how much her encouragement has meant to me. We met at our park in the morning and had a good run - well, good for me. Her foot was really hurting and she ended up having to walk, which is frustrating for her. I got 2.78 miles in, which was good. Came home, showered and dressed in fresh gym clothes for my 4:00 pm workout. It was going to be hot on Tuesday afternoon, so I dressed in my new workout shorts. I was going to force myself to wear shorts, for the first time ever, to the gym. I figured if I wore them all afternoon, I would be comfortable enough to do it. I even took a couple of pictures - white legs and all. So 3:30 rolls around - time to lace up my gym shoes and head on out. Guess what? I couldn't do it. Ended up wearing my workout capris - back to my comfort zone. My thighs are muscular, but over the muscle is a nice layer of jiggly fat - pale, jiggly fat. And even though it was 79 degrees outside, my discomfort at seeing those thighs exposed was more than the discomfort I would feel at being overheated. Capris it was.

Caution: legs in picture are paler in real life - do not approach without wearing dark sunglasses!

Which I paid for dearly, as we had a team workout - Becky and I against three other ladies, and Becky and I had to draw straws to see who got to wear the 20 lb. weighted vest during the entire workout. I was the winner(?). Ever tried jumping rope with a weight vest? You get winded quick! I also had to do the rower, run on the treadmill, do ab crunches (on a Swiss ball, luckily), hip adductors and push ups - OMG, the push ups nearly killed me. I did ten from the toes before switching to my knees (which I don't normally do anymore) - I just couldn't move my body otherwise! When we were finally done (we lost - no surprise as the 3 vs. 2 team got done faster) and I got to remove the vest it was like I was floating on air! And had lost 20 pounds! Can't believe that I've lost a total of five of those vests. Of course, there is no way I could be doing those workouts if I were still at my starting weight.

Wednesday brought the Easter Candy workout (you know how Brad loves his holiday themes). For cardio, an Easter basket was brought out, we were paired up, and had to dig for our candy treat - which instead of getting to eat, we had to work off the calories! First up, Michelle and I got a cute carrot-shaped bag of Reeses Pieces. One serving (the bag was two servings!) was 110 calories. Our machine was the treadmill - one of us ran to exhaustion, then we switched. While the non-runner was waiting, we got to do things like crunches, wall sits, plank holds - fun fun! Then we got to choose another candy treat - and this time it was that cute tube of M&M's - you know, the one that has a plastic topper in the shape of the red M&M guy on it? That tube where you pop the top off and pour the M&M's into your mouth? Yeahhhhh...that freakin' tube has a total of 420 calories' worth of candy in it! I was shocked, because I remember how fast I used to down those suckers. Luckily Linda took pity on us and only had us work off half of a serving, which was 105 calories on the rower. I swear, I'll never look at those little tubes of M&M's the same way again!

Gym time brought a machine of destiny workout with negatives, which I loathe. Put that with it being Wednesday and I am still feeling Monday's workout in my quads, Tuesday's workout all over my body, and I was just not doing well. Negative bench press means that the trainer (Linda) provided resistance on the way down - lift up, ok, down - you are resisting her pushing the bar. If you stopped to rest, the count started going backward. Let's just say that I was in the 20's for a long time. Them, my nemesis - negative leg presses. I know a lot of it is mental with these, because I am usually so sore for days afterward - it's hard to start something when you know you will be feeling it for so long. Plus, my head has just not been in a good place this week. Brad was doing the resistance on these, and again, my count started going backwards while I was still in the teens! This was rough. Did not think I would get through them, but I finally did. My fellow sufferers - er, gymmates - were cheering me on through the last few - as my eyes were both closed and full of tears I didn't see them but I did hear them, and that meant a lot to me.

So this week of workouts is done. It's been rough. I feel fat and blobby and slow as a slug. I actually tried on my size 8 Bermuda shorts to see if they really fit - that's how off my mind has been. I'm hoping I will snap out of this funk soon. I know this isn't my normal "Yay, I made it through another week of workouts" post. Sorry, I just wasn't there. And it's not for a lack of support from Brad and Linda - they are really good about seeing when I am in a bad place and certainly tried to boost my spirits up. In the end, it's all on me, and I have to believe that I am doing good. I'm trying.

31 comments:

  1. I certainly feel your frustrations...I have a tough time with "group" activities because I have a tough time remaining objective when I'm comparing myself to others when I know I SHOULD NOT DO THAT!

    When I have been in a group class and got the opportunity to look around, not everyone was really doing the exercises the same way and with the same spirit. Perhaps they were going too fast...perhaps not getting as much extension, etc. Bottom line, I may have felt near death, but at least I think I was giving the program the 100% it required.

    Some may "appear" to be further ahead, faster, better shape, etc., but it is just too difficult to fairly assess that as fact or just appearances.

    As Bobby Dinero said in The Untouchables..."This is the time for individual achievement"...and you are achieving in a HUGE way. Don't you forget that!

    BTW... I LOVE your trainers...so creative...but I think I like hearing about it better than participating.

    One last thing, BF percents can be wildly off using caliper methods...especially with larger people who have lost weight as it is very challenging to have the caliper truly grasp the skin fold correctly. I use a biolectrical impedance scale (hand held device) actually...it tends to read higher than actual, but I use it as a trend number instead of a bottom line result.

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  2. Oh, sweet Shelley. It must be something in the air. The funk has been going on here as well.

    Love yourself. You are doing things that *most* people (raising my hand) could not do. And you pay for it! You've done amazing things.

    *you lost 100 pounds without surgery or diet pills!

    *you can do an insane amount of burpees and live to tell about it

    *your husband has told the entire blogger world that he thinks you are hot

    *you are now wearing size 8s!! (hello! 8s!)

    *you started running and in no time were running 5ks and improving your time like crazy

    *you continue to inspire people every day

    *you look beautiful

    *you feel great

    *you're about to do a duathlon. How many people do you know that have done that? Not many

    I'm proud of you. ((HUGS)) The funks come and they go. This will pass. Try not to see yourself as still fat. You are in great shape. Sometimes we still look at ourselves through fat glasses. That doesn't sound right and I don't think I'm articulating it correctly. What I'm trying to say is that we don't always see ourselves as we really are. We look at ourselves and still see what we used to be.

    Wear you shorts proudly, honey. You have earned it. And you look great.

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  3. Shelley - don't take to heart what a computer says. Unless you get a DEXA done or a BodyPod scan, you cannot know your true body fat. It is very hard for the very overweight to lose all that body fat. I would be very surprised if you were at 30%, really. Loose skin affects those machines, I really think it does.

    You are doing this for you alone, and not to beat someone at a race, or come in ahead of someone else in your workout. Yes, those are little challenges you can give yourself, but don't base your results on those alone. You have accomplished a lot.

    Every day that you keep these 100 pounds off is a much greater achievement than anything else you do.

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  4. First of all, you are doing great. Spectacular! Inspirational! And more superlatives that I can't think of right now. You are all that and a bag of soy chips.

    Are you overtraining? Are you giving your body enough rest and time to repair? Are you giving your mental self enough time to restore? I don't know your full activity schedule so there may be plenty of time for that, but maybe you are not seeing the results YOU want to see because of overtraining?

    And for what it's worth - I'm always LAST. And I'm okay with that. I'm getting paid for performance, nor am I getting graded. LAST or SLOW is still participating fully and that's all I can ask of me.

    You are doing great - don't let anyone or anything change your mind about that.

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  5. Not getting paid. Sheesh! I'm obviously not getting paid to proof-read either!

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  6. I had a rough few months after losing 80 pounds and still feeling like I weighted the 220 pounds I did.

    I even went to the mall and couldn't muster the courage to buy the pants that fit because i didn't believe I was that size, how could this huge body fit into such a small size.

    It took awhile and I still have my off days but I find what helps is to
    1. look at pictures because they pay the true picture for me
    2. write myself a note and stick it on my mirror so it's the first thing I see in the mornings.
    3. force yourself to wear pants you use to wear all day - I know this sounds bizarre. i did it for a day and was so frustrated having to keep pulling them up, it forced me to see how far I have come.

    For what it's worth you have come so far, you look beautiful, you are achieving things that you never thought were possible - embrace it girl, you are a beautiful inside and out!

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  7. I hate the BMI thing. It's a pain in the buns, my fat buns. I've lost 100 and I'm also a bit over 1/3 fatola. Which reminds me -- for my Easter Candy workout, I'm going to pick one jellybean and eat it.

    Please don't beat yourself up. You're doing spectacular.

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  8. Oh Shelly! You are doing such an amazing job at this healthy lifestyle thing. Oh TCB wanted your butt this week. Damn TCB!

    Come on, you KNOW that you are none of those things...fat, blobby or sluggish. It's just a feeling.

    Thanks for posting about your struggles. Makes me feel like I am in good company. Thanks for your always awesome attitude and example!!

    hugs to you my Friend!

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  9. You are such an awesome inspiration for someone like me. Today's post reminds me that even people who achieve your level of success in weight loss has days where exercising sucks!

    I pray that I will see your success and your level of motivation one day. You never quit, and you always show me that it CAN be done. Thank you, Shelley.

    Hollie (www.skinnyhollie.com)

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  10. Hey you are doing amazing. I wish I could do a work out like that. Walking is all I can do right now. Keep up the good work..

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  11. I'm with Lori - Is that hand-held machine accurate???

    After reading your post, I couldn't help but wonder this, "Were you feeling good about yourself before you knew the body fat %?"

    It's sort of like the scale...only a number (and it sounds doubtful, at that!).

    If you can fit in your size 8 Bermuda shorts and you feel strong and healthy on most days, then I say one of Brad's theme workouts should be seeing who can smash that little hand-held machine of his with a kettleball!

    Keep at it, and do what makes you happy!

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  12. Dear Shelley, don't be too hard on yourself. After I read all the workouts you've I could only think: wow! She's at a higher fitness level than I am.

    So you're slow, so what? You are there for yourself and nobody else. 10 pushups from your toes before you went on your knees? Sweety I can't even do 1 pushup from my toes.

    You look great, also in the shorts and you still are and will be my example of a great woman in exercising! I'm proud of you!

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  13. Don't you get down about that body percentage thing.
    Are you better off than 100 pounds ago? ABSOLUTELY
    Focus on that. Not to mention all of the exercises you can do that I swear to you, over 3/4 of the population couldn't do!

    It takes time and you are on the right track.

    By the way, is your bike a Schwinn Roxie? It looks almost identical to mine!

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  14. Wow, those are some freakin' extreme workouts! You said it yourself, you know you couldn't have done that stuff 100 pounds ago. Be proud of your legs, girl! You worked hard to get those muscles and no amount of "jiggle" should take away from what you have earned. Besides, I think you look super cute!

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  15. My solution for jiggly WHITE thighs is either Jergens or Nivea FIRMING self tanner cream...it won't make you orange it just adds a little color and I swear it made a difference...

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  16. Your bad days actually help me because if I see that someone as successful and tiny as yourself can feel jiggly, it makes sense why I do. Thanks for sharing so honestly and I know that you will snap out of your funk!

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  17. Ditto on what everyone else said - especially Kelly. You have come SO FAR and are doing things some people NEVER do in their entire lifetimes like 5Ks, Dualathons, Burpees, etc. You should be very proud of yourself. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Hang in there!

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  18. I'd echo the previous comments re: the funk. You'll come around, especially when you put it in perspective. And, as one commenter said- it helps your readers to know that they aren't the only ones who have a less-than-stellar day. Now, on to the body scan thingy that showed you to have a 33% body fat. Did you read those reviews on Amazon? It sounds like the device can be wildly inaccurate, and I'd say that's what happened to you. So, I suggest giving a big shrug to that particular number, and keep on keeping on. You know you're going in the right direction, and tomorrow is bound to be a better day! PS- Love your new glasses!

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  19. So sorry your having a bad day and in a funk. Its been well said already but you inspire me and many others with all your workout accomplishments!
    Hang in there and this too shall pass. Never ever give up! I'm rooting for you!

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  20. Hi, I'm Alyssa and I'm brand new to weight loss blogging! I'm going to become a follower of your blog. I was looking through your pictures and all. SO incredible that you've lost 100 pounds. I can't imagine.

    Also, what is this gym that you go to? It sounds so incredible. I wish I could find anything like that where I live.

    Hope you get out of your funk. 100 pounds later, I know you can do it!

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  21. Your legs look great from here! You need to dress comfortably, no ones looking I swear!

    Hopefully next week will feel better!

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  22. Your legs are cute! I admire you so much for the workouts that you do. You are so NOT those negative things, and I hope you feel better soon.

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  23. I would love to workout at your gym. I know -- I'm a glutton.

    By the way, you look great in your shorts.

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  24. I also think you look good in your shorts, but I certainly understand your frustration levels. I've been having similar feelings lately on everything.

    *HUGS* It will get better!

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  25. Hey Miss Shelley!!! Hop over to my blog and pick up your Easter basket!! :)

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  26. keep emailing me and we will figure this out.
    I love you too much to give ya the FAT ISNT A FEELING lecture because some days? I THINK IT IS. Fat simply means grumpy bloated ornery frustrated and we have all been there.

    and yes.
    *I* still think you are amazing you look amazing and you rock.

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  27. Aww Shelley I wish I could give you a real hug instead of a virtual one. (You KNOW I know how you're feeling right now.) But sweetie, next time wear the damn shorts, your legs look just fine and it sounds like you would have been too busy to worry about jiggle or anything else!

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  28. Oh, and I forgot to mention in my first comment that I'm ALWAYS last. Sometimes I manage to make a 20 person Thai Boxing class wait while I finish whatever. But I keep telling myself that form is way more important than speed and when I see some of those other people, their form sucks to put it plainly. :-)

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  29. Wish I could be there to cheer you up Shelley! Let's just put this week behind us shall we and hope for a great Easter weekend.

    You are MY INSPIRATION - I don't do nearly half the things you do in the gym - you should be so proud at how far you've come!

    HUGS!

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  30. Wow, these comments are so uplifting, I'm sure you're singing by now! You know, I've tried to dwell on being strong(now that I'm in my midforties)and being strong is so much better than skinny. Being strong means we've used the experiences and life lessons to make us better people on the inside; passionate, loving and fierce when we need to be. Being strong means knowing our beauty has nothing to do with the outside and everything to do with our hearts, minds and souls. When I read the comments above, I see that you are beautiful and strong; you reach out to others and KEEP going, moving forward. Dwell on these things because you are actually aleady there... don't let the shorts hold you back :) ! Roar girl!

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  31. You are doing things that *most* people (raising my hand) could not do. And you pay for it! You've done amazing things.
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