Have you ever been eating your beloved Fage/strawberry/Kashi Golean Crunch combination and wondered to yourself "How old is this yogurt?" And then kept on eating it? No? Just me, then? Hmmm. Must start checking expiration dates more often.
Annnnnd in other news...last week, while Barbara and I were shopping, I took a pair of size 12 jeans to try on for shiggles. (My son Max's term...combination of sh*ts and g*ggles - cracks me up, juvenile that I am!) Anyway, I did not think I could fit into them, but whatever, we were having fun, trying on crazy things. Yeah, so they fit. What?!? Of course, you know I had to go out and find more size 12 pants - capris, actually - and they all fit! When did this happen??? Needless to say, there was much joy in the Kohls dressing room! (You knew I just had to introduce Barbara to the wonder that is Kohls...she was all "this is great, and there is a Kohls near my Mom's house - I'll have to shop there" so Kohls, if you're listening, you owe me one!)
Back to the story...I know, you're thinking that this is worse than a Paul Harvey story...fun times ensued with me realizing that I really wear size 12 now - and am truly in size large tops - the XL's all hang off of me now. I bought a pair of black bermuda shorts (which actually look like capris on my short body) and a cute purple t-shirt and felt positively tiny!
And then reality hit, when I decided to try on some sleeveless workout tops - it has been so freaking hot here lately, I figured that I would get over my embarrassment about my still-flabby upper arms in the name of coolness. I had forgotten - possibly because I don't go sleeveless and therefore don't see it - that years ago, when I was in my early thirties, I had been very sick with pseutotumor cerebri, and was placed on a horrendously high dosage of prednisone, and ended up with these weird, wide, jagged stretch marks that look like scars in my underarm area. Ugh - it was so ugly to see, and brought me back down to earth fast...there is no way I can ever expose my arms to the world when they look like that!
It was pretty depressing, and I had to face the fact that while there are tons of cute sleeveless tops and sundresses in the stores, for me, no matter how thin I get,or how high the temperature rises, won't be ending up in my closet. Oh reality, you can be so mean sometimes.