I mentioned that I came down with a cold on my trip home from California last month - yes, I was the person you all hate to be on the airplane with, sneezing my head off like a fool. I was pretty miserable, but at least I had the window seat with the middle seat empty, which was a small favor for humanity.
Anyway, for this being just a cold I was really sick - zero energy, and zero appetite. I always come back from my California trips on the tired side, being that we are on the go pretty much the entire time, but this was a different tired. I even cancelled most of my runs, which is rare, but I could tell that I needed to give my body a chance to get over this cold.
Along with feeling so worn out, I didn't want to eat. Let me repeat that: I didn't want to eat. I can count on one hand the number of times I haven't wanted to eat in my life - seriously, food is always there for me. Even when I have motion sickness, I look to food - crackers or Sprite - to make me feel better. So this was weird, but ever the dieter, I went with it...I figured it wouldn't last.
Enter week two of no appetite. Which, except for the whole feeling crummy and having no energy, was working for me. Kind of disordered, wouldn't you agree? But this is where my mind went. Credit for that thinking goes to practically a lifetime (well, since I was a teenager) of dieting, of thinking about my size, of feeling out-of-control with my eating for so long - so hey, this was dieting made easy! And let's face it, no one could look at me and be worried that I was withering away...it would take more than a couple of weeks of this to be apparent to anyone but me in terms of seeing weight loss.
By week three, I started to feel better in terms of the cold, and I also started to at least want a meal every day. That was helpful, especially considering that I'd actually bonked during a two mile run a week earlier - I literally ran out of energy and had to walk back to my house after 1.5 miles! Still, I wasn't eating a lot, and the dieter in me was actually happy to feel not very hungry, as well as feel really full after a small meal.
Even though I'm mostly in a much better place with how I approach food, I kind of hate how much I can appreciate losing my appetite like this. It's probably not normal, but long-term dieters like me all probably feel the same way, and just go with it. It's weird, it's temporary, it's easy...and like all "lose weight fast" diets, it won't last. But for now, I'll take it.
I sure hope you are feeling better!
ReplyDeleteThanks - getting there!
DeleteYes - I totally get that. When I hurt my back a few years ago, the narcotics completely blanked out my appetite and I was glad since I wasn't moving around much and didn't have to worry about eating too many calories. It was nice for a bit, but I could have done without the injury. My appetite came back just fine after getting off the narcotics. LOL
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if normal people just don't have the appetites of the formerly obese?
It's easy to see how people slip into disordered eating and spiral down.
Glad you are finally feeling better, too. It sucks to be sick when it is so hot out.
DeleteThanks - and much as I appreciate a natural appetite suppressant, I'm glad I am getting closer to feeling normal.
DeleteOH I get this! In my more obsessive diet days I used to wish I'd get sick so my appetite would diminish. I now longer wish it but I take it whenever I do get sick :) Hope you're feeling 100 percent soon!
ReplyDeleteThanks - and glad you understand this!
DeleteGlad to hear you are perking up and also glad to hear you actually let yourself rest!
ReplyDeleteI think we all understand exactly what you mean about your loss of appetite. Funny to me because I woke up with an upset stomach this morning and seriously had the thought that if I got the norovirus I'd probably lose 5-10 lbs. Sigh.
I shouldn't, but that made me LOL Helen.
DeleteSee, WE get it!
DeleteYeah, when you told me you were sick and had lost your appetite, I actually was a little jealous. How wrong is that? But two weeks is a really long time to go without an appetite! I'm glad you're feeling better finally.
ReplyDeleteMe, too. :)
DeleteI actually had the opposite effect yesterday, I have a cold but all I wanted to do was eat!
ReplyDeleteThat's usually what happens to me.
DeleteMan, that is a LONG cold. Blah. I hope it's gone soon.
ReplyDeleteI've had that mindset before - at least this flu or cold is making me not want to eat, since I can't workout! LOL. As long as you aren't bragging about it on Facebook (I know you aren't)... which I've seen. Sigh.
O man, being sick on a plane is the worst. Even when i'm feeling "fine" health wise I always deal with jet lag, motion sickness, earache, ya know the normal travel stuff.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are starting to feel better. Sometimes you just need a break to re-charge. I'm taking one today myself!
The day that I don't have an appetite has still to come after 48 years. I have never ever had that.
ReplyDeleteHope you are much better by now.