Dear ... (an Almost Cranky-Shelley Post)

(A little lighthearted humor for a Monday - I hope this entertains you as much to read as it did for me to write!)

Dear Squirrel,

You were cute when you walked past my window, a piece of fluff in your mouth.  I watched you climb a tree and make your way, branch by branch, over to another tree where you must be building a nest.  You were adorable when, a little later, you walked past my window, a dried leaf in your mouth (must have been THE perfect leaf, as you'd bypassed about a thousand on your way to get that one), climbed a tree, and made your way to the nest.  But when you discovered the cloth barrier that we put down to prevent weeds and started pulling that up for your nest?  You stopped being cute, and after a couple of pictures, needed to be run off:

 

Luckily, I have a very willing squirrel-chaser at my beck and call:

 

Always on the lookout, scanning the yard for invaders who need chasing.

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Dear iPhone,

I love you - a lot.  But I'm old-school, and when you don't come with a physical instruction manual, AND you are so easy to work right away, some people *ahem* might not bother with reading the online manual, and might miss some key things.  Like the fact that apps are supposed to be turned off after using them.  Otherwise, you get hot.  Very, very hot.  Luckily I caught it in time (apparently I downloaded one app that sent everything over the edge in terms), but after going to the Sprint store with my hot phone, and getting a nice salesman to explain what was happening, I now turn off my apps.  Oh, and apparently I could write the same letter to iPad.  Apps - who knew???

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Dear Bon Ami,

I'm old school AND brand-loyal.  When I used up my last can about a year ago, and couldn't replace you, I got sad.  Apparently nobody in my town carries you anymore.  So I made do with lesser cleansers, but every time I went to scrub my sinks, I missed you.  I finally remembered the magic that is Amazon and thought to check - and behold!  There you were.  While I felt silly ordering cleanser online, my local stores left me no choice.  I'm just glad to have you back:

Mon ami!

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Dear Jeff:

It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things...and after all, I'm sure that in our nearly 29 years of marriage, there must be something I do that annoys you.  But what is it that makes you not able to PUSH THE DAMN JAR OF CRAISINS BACK???

Exhibits A through D:

Every. Single. Morning.

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Dear Punctuation Overlords:

I will stop putting two spaces after a period when you can pry my AP Stylebook out of my cold, dead hands.  This is how I learned to type.  This is how I will continue to type.  From now until eternity.

Side note:  When I pulled this book out to take these pictures, I got lost in it - it may sound strange to anyone who wasn't a journalism major, but honestly, this is one of my favorite books, ever.

-30-