Monday, September 7, 2009

Challenge Update and Body Image

First things first...I got in my exercise for both Saturday and Sunday - yay! Went for a 5.72 mile bike ride on Saturday (was aiming for 6 miles, but Ginger came out and Paco wanted to play with her, so I cut it short) and I did a bunch of arm and back exercises using my new exertube-thingie! I have to say, I was confused at first because the tube has a dealie that slid around it...finally read the instructions and saw that you can shut it in your door - either on the side or on top - and do additional exercises. Note to self: make sure the dealie is secure in the door or it will smack you in the head - that was a surprise! Anyway, it was very cool - I was able to do some things that I remembered from my workouts that really work my triceps and shoulders. Lather, rinse, repeat for Sunday (except that I only rode 5 miles). I have to say that it's a little different riding my bike around the neighborhood without Jeff...for one thing, it's a kind of boring. Also, strangers tend to holler "hi" a bit more often. I'm proud of myself for doing it, and also for riding for so long - I've never gone past 5 1/2 miles.

And now onto body image. This might sound strange, but even though in my head I know that I've lost a ton of weight, and have bought clothes in progressively smaller sizes as a result, sometimes I still think of myself as fat.

I had a terrible fat day on Friday - just felt very big, bloated and blech. Partway through the day I caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror and was really depressed by what I saw. Spent the rest of the day wondering if I would ever be thin. Went home, and as I was changing into comfy, lounge-around-the-house clothes, I looked at the sizes of what I was wearing: XL navy sweater shell (that I bought almost a year ago), L orange cardigan (bought last Feb/March) and size 12 brown capris - and realized that everything was really baggy on me. No wonder I felt so blah - I looked it! I threw everything into the laundry and then folded them for the Goodwill bag. And proceeded to try on and clear out my closet of more clothes that are too big. Yes, I could probably get away with wearing some of them, but not at the expense of feeling so crummy about myself.

So I'm down to 3 pairs of capris (plus the one pair of bermudas that are a bit too tight to wear in public yet). I need to get a pair of jeans - it rained last Thursday and I actually would have worn long pants to work had I owned a pair. So I'll be shopping this week - something that I'm actually trying NOT to do much of since we need every extra penny for our Hawaii trip. But I can spare a little bit in order to save me from my mental beat-down.

18 comments:

  1. Having sloppy clothes because you've lost so much weight...good problem to have! There's nothing like spankin' new clothes to make you feel good about yourself.

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  2. Great on the clothes! That was one of the most exciting parts of my own weight loss - getting rid of my ugly "big girl" clothes!

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  3. Watch out for flying "dealies"! Ouch! ;-)

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  4. Congrats on your exercise and sorry about the thing hitting you! I hope it didn't hurt!

    Yes, that clothing that is too big can really deflate our sails. I am glad you cleaned things out. I hope you find some great outfits on a fantastic sale! =)

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  5. Good for you! Pitching all of those 'too big' clothes is such a wonderful thing to do, and SUCH a HUGE mental leap of faith in ourselves; faith that we'll never get there and no those sizes again! Fantastic! Hope you catch some good sales. ;)

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  6. Getting some good fitting clothes can really help you get a better mindset on how far you have come. Although, I still have those days where I am sure I still look like I am 100 pound heavier. The mind is a strange thing.

    Great job on the bike! I love riding, anywhere, anytime. Running I can find myself getting a little bored, but never biking.

    Check out some consignment stores for your 'in between' clothes. I made whole wardrobes at bargain prices that way!

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  7. Great workout days! I'm proud of you!

    They say "clothes make the man or woman" and some clothes which used to be comfertable now aren't anymore. Time to go shopping girl and buy clothes that fit you well and make you feel happy by wearing them!

    xxx

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  8. Whenever you feel fat, take a look at your pics. you look fab!!!! I wish I could say I never had those days. Getting your mind to see the change other people see is BIG. I do not think my brain has grasped that I lost 40 pounds. It just just doesn't seem to get it!

    i hope that some new clothes will help you see what we others see ~ a fantastic woman!

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  9. LOL at the dealie smacking you in the head...that is SO something I would do, except I'm a slow learner...I'd do it more than once, lol.

    I know JUST how you feel about the big, baggy clothes making you feel worse. I was looking in my closet, too, this weekend, and I just do not have the money right now to replace all of that stuff. Better find some money soon, though. I was walking down the hall the other day and a pair of my denim shorts that have just barely been hanging onto my hips, fell all the way down to my ankles!! That was the point that I promptly picked them up and threw them in the trash, lol. If that keeps happening, I'm gonna' be naked soon. Try not to picture that...especially if you've just eaten. :)

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  10. I wore my normal game day outfit on Saturday...khaki shorts and school t-shirt and felt positively HUGE all day. I attributed it to PMS or beer bloat or something...

    It was that my clothes were too big and were doing NOTHING for me.

    aaaaaaaaah. Thanks!

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  11. LOVE that the solution to the feelin fat friday was to clean house (ok closet :)) and not turn to food.

    thats a victory as well.

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  12. Good going on the biking! Can you rock and bike at the same time cuz it definitely sounds like you're doing it!

    I love your idea about the clothes and even tho I haven't outgrown as many sizes as you, I'm still giving away anything that is unflattering (about 80% of my wardrobe) and only keeping the stuff that I feel really good about wearing. Plus, having less to wear means I don't stand in front of the closet like the RCA Victor dog trying to figure out which clothes look "less bad" on me.

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  13. It's amazing how clothes can make you feel! I can't wait to start throwing away my big size clothes too!

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  14. It really does sneak up on you with the new sizes! I got rid of some droopy drawers over the weekend. Don't forget about thrift stores when dropping sizes. Especially now that you are less than a size 12! When I was smaller I used to buy almost new Gap jeans in some of the higher end thrift stores for $8 a pair. Then you can shrink out of those and give them right back :)

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  15. great blog!! I have lost 100 pounds and was honored to have a interview done with a podcast with the glam gals at fabulous after 40. They asked what I did for clothes while losing the weight. I was happy to say well when I was trimming down size by size I would just buy a small amount of clothes to get me by. Now I have gotten to ditch an entire wardrobe. It's been slow coming but so much fun.

    Enjoy your week!

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  16. I knew you would meet your workout goals!

    And hooray for smaller clothes! I agree, if I have baggy clothes on - I feel fat! :D

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  17. I KNOW I have lost weight, and I know my clothes are smaller and my scale reads a smaller number BUT I still think of myself as fat. I wonder when that part changes?

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