Thursday, July 9, 2009

Keepin' It Real, Yo

Yesterday during my workout, I cried. Out of fear - I had to face an activity that freaks me out, scares me and makes me think I'm going to hurt myself. Here's what happened...

We were doing the "Filthy Fifty"* - 50 reps each of "boy" pushups, butterfly situps, Superman abs, 10-pound curls/presses, ball slams, kettlebell swings, jumping pull ups, high knees, um...something else that I can't remember, and box jumps.

Now box jumps scare me. A lot. Brad uses a stepper, like this one, on five risers. Did you get that? FIVE risers - which makes that thing TOWER in the air. Actually, I just looked up the dimensions, and all totaled it was about 14 inches high. Which is really tall, especially considering that I'm pretty darn short - 5' 1". I am very intimidated by this exercise - in fact, I've only done it one time previously, and that was using two risers. And it was scary and hard then!

So I was nervous, knowing that I had to face the dreaded box jump. I put it off as long as I could, and then I had to do it. I was petrified - it took me several false starts to do my first jump - and I barely managed to get my toes on the box. It's like you are jumping from the very bottom of your feet straight up in the air - and in my book, the only person who can do this is Steve Austin, aka the Six-Million-Dollar-Man.

And I was supposed to do fifty of these???

I was freaking out, internally - and then I tried again, and didn't make it. And I tried again and barely got on the box. And then the tears came. I hate being so afraid of something! I really didn't think I could do it - this was the thing that I could not conquer. My body was not strong enough to do this. I took a couple of minutes to duck into the restroom and try and compose myself - oh yeah, have I mentioned how much I hate crying in public? And yet I am a crier, so unfortunately many people have gotten to see me in tears.

I went back out to the dreaded box step, where Brad gave me a hug and suggested removing one set of risers so I could build up my confidence. Believe me, I still wasn't confident that I could do this. But this is why I am going there - to do things that my trainers tell me to do, because I know that I won't push myself the way they push me.

So I jumped again. And landed on the box. Both Brad and Linda cheered me on. And I kept doing it - and you know what? It never got easier. I was still freaking out, and had several more false starts. Linda sat next to the box step and talked me through it - and I finally got my fifty in. Damn, that was hard. Mentally and physically. I don't want to face that again for a long, long time.

But I got through it.





*Brad likes to name his crazy workouts - there's the Filthy Fifty, the Three-Fifty, the Bottom-to-Bottom Tabata, the Forever Tabata...and many others - most of which I block out of my mind the instant we are finished!

26 comments:

  1. Wow...I'm so impressed that you got through this. I couldn't do it! Even though it didn't get easier, you stuck with it--highly impressive!

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  2. I couldn't do it either. Part of me thinks you shouldn't have to do a workout that scares you. But the other part of me says WOO-HOO, way to go! Good for you for conquering something you were afraid of. One of the things I found in this fat thing is I am way too cautious (scared)--so much more than I was when I wasn't fat. I hate it. I want to get in the Zorb and roll down the hill, or go white water kayaking, or even just not be afraid of heights. I think losing weight will make me fearless! Can't wait.

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  3. Wow, you're AMAZING. Just looking at the pictures in the box jump link scared me a little. And fifty of them? I don't think I could ever do it. Way to stick with it!

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  4. I think that exercise would hurt my back! Good for you in pushing through, although I kinda agree with your first commenter, that doing something that physically scares you wouldn't be part of my workout. That being said - you are a stronger woman than I!

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  5. GO YOU!!!!

    I often try things which scare the cr*p out of me at my husbands prodding (he has a trainer during the week and shows me stuff when we workout together on weekends :))

    the box jumps for me were a HUGE LEAP (pun intended) of faith.

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  6. BLECK! Box steps make me wanna BLECk! But guess what lady, you did them! Can you belive that?! Think of where you were 2 or 3 years ago - would you EVER imagine you would be doing that? Yep, you are so right that its flippin hard - but now, it's done and over with and you get to say you did it!

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  7. I feel your pain! What a feat. I'm proud of you!
    Cindie

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  8. That workout routine sounds downright scary. Seriously. Like I'd rather be covered in spiders than try that scary. 50 boy push ups?! Girl, you are STRONG!

    I'd have been right there with you freaking out. But you did it! That has to make you feel good. :)

    I'm still floored by your routine. I don't think my husband could even do all of that.

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  9. Whoa! Those box jumps are scary...that's why I don't do 'em. You are stronger than me, so don't let the tears fool you. That's just your body's way of letting off steam.

    Your devotion is so internalized and solid that you'll face challenges even when scared to death. I'm in awe.

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  10. Wow! I'm so impressed, not only that you did such a hard thing, but that you kept going through tears, false starts and all. I really believe persistence is the biggest part of success.

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  11. Hey! You did it! Congratulations! You can do ANYTHING!!!

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  12. From one short person to another - that was one amazing feat! Flippin HARD workout - well done you!

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  13. Oh Shelley, I feel for you! I'd be scared too but admire the way you pushed yourself through it. If this were easy, anyone could do it - and clearly, everyone is NOT. Go get 'em, girl. You're doing great!

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  14. That's quite impressive! You did it! Keep it up!

    Nilz

    ..........
    Slimvia - Natural Weight Loss Program!

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  15. That is really amazing...I'm also very short 5'2 and I'm fairly certain I couldn't jump 2 feet into the air! Good for you for facing your fears and trying!

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  16. Wow, that's impressive - I remember seeing them do that on Biggest Loser!

    Just imagine a year ago - you probably couldn't have done one step! :D

    You go girl!

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  17. Good for you for getting through that!! I deal with fear a lot when it comes to exercise like hurting my ankles again or pushing my heart beyond it's limits (my dad died at 49).

    I knew I liked you Shelley. We are both short, criers ;) Keep at it. You're doing so great!!

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  18. Wow, huge congrats for your tremendous spirit and determination. That’s very impressive! :-D If it makes you feel any better those box jumps would scare the heck out of me too! :-0

    --Susan

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  19. That is an amazing workout...I bet you slept good last night! I would be totally wiped out and probably nursing a broken ankle or something. Way to go Shelley!

    Did you hear back from the bike company yet? :-)

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  20. Oh my...you were losing me at 50 reps of boy pushups, and I was outta there at butterfly situps. I don't even know what butterfly situps are. By the name I'd think lovely and gentle and flitting along, but I'm sure they're pure hell. Box jumps? No way. They do this on the Biggest Loser and the stack seems 1/2 the contestants height. That filthy fifty workout sounds brutal. YOU GO SHELLEY! BRAVO INDEED!

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  21. I'm cringing when I read about your box jumps. I'm terrified of them!! I'm always scared I'm going to clip my toe on the bench and fall flat on my face.

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  22. Great job! Isn't it amazing at what you actually can accomplish and how the mind wants to prevent you from doing that?

    It's all about challenging yourself to go beyond what you think you can do - which you did!!

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  23. Good for you for getting those box jumps done! Reading about your workouts with your trainers always makes me want to try some training sessions - you're really inspiring.

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  24. You are AWESOME. Congrats on completing such a tough task, staring fear in the face, and going:

    THBPPPPPPPPPPPT.

    have a great weekend!

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