Monday, February 22, 2010

115

So last week I did the responsible adult thing and paid a visit to the doctor for the works - well-woman check, blood work...you know, all the fun things. I haven't been to a doctor since last summer when I was having gallbladder issues, and the doc that I saw then was not the doctor I started my weight-loss journey with, as he had left town to go practice in Germany for a year. Anyway, we switched insurance in September, so I had to start all over with a new doctor. I chose one whom I had heard good things about from a couple of friends.

I think I need some new friends.

I walked in feeling pretty confident - at long last, I knew I wouldn't be dealing with that whole "you need to lose weight" speech from the doctor. I had my list of questions ready (including what was going on with my fat blob), and for the first time in years - nay, decades - I was in a good place with my body. The doctor came in, introduced himself, and noted (because I wrote it down on my intake form) that I had lost 100 pounds. He asked how I did it - I said pretty much counting calories and exercise. Then he asked me if I was planning on losing any more weight. I said yes, I would like to get down to 138. He fiddled with his computer chart (tres cool, btw) and then said "you should weigh 115 pounds."

Now, I weighed in on his scale, fully dressed (in jeans, even), fed and hydrated, at 156 pounds (morning weigh-in at home was 152). So he thinks I need to lose another 40 pounds?!? I was dumbfounded. He barely looked at me - obviously he was referring to a standard weight chart...but still - 115? As is, I am in size 8 pants now. I can't imagine what I would look like at 115! I sputtered something about "I workout and have a lot of muscle, which weighs more than fat" but he didn't respond. At which point I pretty much lost interest in anything else he had to say. I mean, if he can't even SEE that I would resemble a skeleton at 115, why should anything he says have merit? The only way I am going to see 115 pounds on this body is if I have a serious bout with anorexia - and frankly, I've been there once and have no intention of revisiting that again!

I am just stunned that in this day and age of healthy body awareness, I encountered such a clunker of a doctor. I am grateful, however, for the last (nearly) two years that I've spent here in blogland, because I immediately knew that he was full of crap and to neither take his recommended weight seriously, nor let it bother me too much.

You see, one thing that I realized early on in my journey was that the key to making this my last diet was being able to maintain my goal weight without struggling every day. That's why I chose 138 - and that's what I would have told my doctor, had I been given the chance. I suppose I could have fought for my right to speak up, but I was still in shock. The anger came about an hour after I got home, and I started writing this post, but had to stop because I was just making myself even more mad as I wrote it. Plus once I started deleting the cuss words, there wasn't much left, lol!

I got what I needed from that doctor - referrals (as required by my insurance plan) for a mammogram and a visit to the eye doctor, but quite frankly, I don't plan on going back to him. I just don't have the trust necessary to put my health in his hands.

44 comments:

  1. You are so right in your decision to dismiss him out of hand. 115? Oh puleaze. Don't let his disinterest and lack of understanding get in your head - and it sounds like you didn't. I wish you had my doc, he's the coolest, most supportive doc ever!

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  2. I wonder if a woman doctor would be so callous. Maybe you should email the doctor your blog address and let him read what you wrote.

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  3. I'm so glad you have the strength to take this guy with a grain of salt (and some cuss words...lol). Sadly, a lot of people would take him seriously. And we wonder why our country has such issues with body size and image. Sheesh.

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  4. I was reading something the other day and it said that I should be 115 and my stomach turned. It was disheartening because as it is I felt like it's going to be a miracle to maintain 135.
    years ago I was 130 and my mother and law stopped me and told me not to lose anymore. What does that tell you?
    115 is absurd.
    What that doctor should have said was, congratulations.

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  5. I'm sorry you encountered such a horrible doctor! I agree you should keep searching for a new doctor.
    You look great now and your attitude rocks don't let this bring you down!

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  6. What an insensitive jerk! I have found the best success with women doctors. Mine even noticed on my last visit that I had lost weight and lamented she needed to follow my lead:)

    I agree with your idea to pick a weight that can be maintained!

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  7. That is just freakin' ridiculous! And outrageous! 115 is like freshman year of high school (although I blew past it in grade school). Glad that you're dumping that quack!

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  8. I;m sorry that u had to go through that. I have spent a lot of time at the doctor's over the last few weeks and what impressed me the most about my doctor is this:

    He told me to keep doing what I am doing AND to keep writing on my blog. Can u believe that? I think I will keep him.

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  9. Definitely find a new doctor. Any doctor that doesn't look at the patient as a whole and tries to buttonhole them into a standard chart - well, that's not much of a doctor in my book! Sheesh, even WW recognizes that their weight ranges may not work for everyone.

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  10. I laugh every single time I see one of those weight charts. It would be nice to have doctors look at their patients instead of the charts. I'm glad you know he is full of it and won't be killing yourself trying to get as low as 115.

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  11. I think he needs a new chart! Seriously, with those standards, how will anyone measure up? We'll all quit and eat ourselves to death b/c we can't meet the standard.

    Amazing that you didn't let this affect your eating. You are so there.

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  12. So glad you chose to see this Dr. for the jack ass he is. I love it that you are confident in your body to know what's right for you. There is line from The Cosby Show where the little girl hugs herself and says " I know my body"!

    Give yourself a hug. Keep looking for the doc that's right for you.

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  13. I love the fact that you are strong & confident enough to know a crazy talkin' fool like he is! eeewwww.... some people should just not speak.

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  14. Hey I just started following you blog, but I agree that Doctor is a jerk! How about some support and encouragement for everything you've done? I say wait a day, and calmly compose an email or letter to send to him detailing that he upset you and why you will see another doctor from now on. Doctors are people. Some are good, some are bad. You have choices. By the way, you look fantastic and you are an inspiration!

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  15. What a disappointment! You are absolutely right not to trust this Dr. Where is his common sense? He was obviously more interested in general guidlines than in you as an individual. You should have been congratulated. I'm glad you didn't let it get you down.

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  16. Shelly, you damn well deserve a better doctor! Someone who cares about people more than numbers.

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  17. NO NO NO to 115!!! Did this doc even look at your muscle?? Helloooo....

    I am jumping up and down angry about that doc. And more because I so don't want it to put any self-doubt in your mind about the path you have set.

    I would get a new doc asap, and let the office manager know why you are switching. Docs need to listen to their patients and *then* offer treatment and advice. Not use a chart or conventional wisdom to put someone in a pocket.

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  18. That is absolutely crazy!! You're right not to go back to him.
    I'm 5' 0" and i once weighed 112 and i definitely looked way too skinny. This time i'm thinking 125 would be a lot easier to maintain.

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  19. Wow, sorry to hear this happened. Wayyy too bad that the insurance, I take it, won't let you see your original Dr. =( That would have been so great, since he knew from whence you came, and more than likely would have been rejoicing with you. It does seem like regardless of having known you before, a caring Dr. would still have celebrated with you & congratulated you.

    And oh the irony of feeling body confident for a Dr. visit for the 1st in decades only to have that response. I think that only added insult to injury...it would for me. Feeling so proud, and feelin' like the Dr. will be proud w/me......omw.

    I was thinking female Dr too as others have said...that might help.

    Keep it up girl. So proud of you. Chrissy

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  20. I know we are both short, but that is an insane number! We'd both be skeletons at 115!!

    You are doing great - that doctor isn't worth getting mad over!

    Happy Monday!

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  21. Holy cow!! 115? What a crazy recommendation. The last time *I* weighed 115 I was twelve years old! And I was not fat until I was in my 20's. I think your goal of 138 is just fine. Good for you blogging about this!

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  22. I have discussed this with a recent med student. Wellness is not a big topic in med school. Nutrition, Diet, etc. are only glanced at. They don't go to school for preventive medicine, only for curative. Sad really.

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  23. I wish I could find a doctor who wasn't all about the charts and numbers and cookie cutter textbooks. When will there be a doctor out there who can think for him/herself to make decisions and offer advice. Shelley, you look great. You have every right to be angry with this guy. Move on and find a different GP because this guy isn't it. Unless you feel like spending some time educating him on what "healthy" looks like. :)

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  24. I wouldn't go back either: 115 is very low in my opinion, especially for us fortysomething girls.

    It's a good thing you're such a strong and confident woman so that he couldn't make you feel insecure about yourself because that's absolutely not necessary. You look great.

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  25. Way to go for being the well informed, proactive, educated patient that you are! A clunker of a doctor... kind words, indeed! Does he know that you blog and ummmm... recommend??? Wow! It's a shame that we have such narrow minded (and ill advised) doctors in our midst. Kudos to you for seeing beyond his limited vision.

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  26. Wow, how discouraging! Maybe he put the wrong numbers in his program, and had you pegged as a 4'6 10 year old.
    Is it any wonder so many of us are reluctant to discuss weight issues with our doctors?

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  27. 115lb? That is absurd! This is the first time I've read your blog, and I felt so angry at the doctor!

    You look healthy. We're women. We're meant to look like women, not 18 year old girls.

    ps. you have done very well!!

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  28. I think doctors know very little about weight loss at least naturally...it is pathetic and they throw these blanket statement numbers out there to young people who may take them seriously. Scary

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  29. The first gym I joined told me the same thing. I probably weighed 200, supposed to weigh 110. I'm size 8 at 147, another 40 pounds is far away, way too small. Even I think I would look gross at that weight.

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  30. Please do yourself and all women a favor and write him a letter explaining (in short terms) what you wrote here and how maintaining 115 lbs would be impossible and probably lead only to yo-yo dieting. End it with you won't be seeing him again, but would appreciate if he educated himself on issues of obesity.
    God, I hate doctors.

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  31. Are you freaking stinking kidding me?
    You are right on all counts - walk away -
    with your really-well-proportioned-body.
    You look good!

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  32. Yikes! That is scary to think he is giving out such absurd advice. What about the people who are not as strong willed as you and listen to the quack? Yeesshhh! BTW, I love your new design xoxo

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  33. Wow, I'm not surprised, yet I am. I don't blame you for not going back. I have had my share of uncaring doctors who only go by the books. I think you look great..you've worked so hard and you should be proud. Find a doctor that will be just as proud!

    By the way...love the new page layout...it fits you!

    Debi
    Second Journey

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  34. Eff that moron disguised as a doctor. Give me a friggin' break. If you didn't lose another lb, you look fantastic and have built up great strength and endurance. I wonder if that idiot needs a chart to tell him when to go to the bathroom, too. He sounds incredibly, unbelievably inept. Good for you for kicking him to the curb. :)

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  35. That is a real head-scratcher-- rather than applauding the incredible achievement of the weight loss you've realized, he throws out this number it would require the chopping off of body parts to attain. What a goofball.

    I told my (slender) doctor that my nose was put out of joint when a cardiologist described me as moderately obese. She said, "Poo, I wonder what HE looks like!" Maybe not medically sound, but comforting :)

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  36. I have had so many doctors say the same thing to me, wait, well, not 115. I mean. Come on. When I lost my 100 and went to the doctor and she had never seen me fat(ter), she's all, "well your hip would feel better if you only lost weight." And I wanted to club her because you know they have NO idea what you've already been through losing what you've lost to date. You have done the nearly impossible and it's maddening when they don't recognize that. If you wanted to be disregarded and talked over, you could have easily found a "friend" who probably does that already for free.

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  37. WHAT?! What a crazy doctor or at least insensitive and horrible?! I can't believe he would actually say 115! If I weighed 115, I'd be anorexic and unable to run or function. That is just crazy!!! Did he even ask you about your activity level? Run, run away very fast!

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  38. You shouldn't have done that. How sweet of you!

    xxx

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  39. I am so glad that you are in a good place about what weight will work best for you and didn't let that doctor's comment affect your progress. You have lost 100 pounds, that's pretty amazing! If he was just going off of a BMI chart and failed to take into consideration you as an individual, then I don't blame you for going somewhere else. You deserve a medical professional that will work with you to help you be at the best weight for YOU-not what some chart says you should.

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  40. Just dropping in after a few weeks away and LOVE your new look. It's so fresh and clean!

    You know, most doctors are taught how to treat the sick, not how to treat the well. Unfortunately. And we all know those damn insurance charts are the most antiquated things around.

    I'm surprised you didn't give him an ear full of why you don't need to weigh 115.

    Stay strong Shelley! You're an awesome inspiration.

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  41. the healthy BMI charts definitely have people walking around too thin!!! you look great!!!

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  42. WOW, just wow.

    I'm glad you're going to look for a new doctor.

    WOW.

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  43. I know I am super-late on this, but yes, yes, YES get another doctor immediately. There are still GPs out there who look at the patient as a whole being, including their history, and take care of you as that person. They're rare but they are still out there. He is not that GP.

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