So last week I did the responsible adult thing and paid a visit to the doctor for the works - well-woman check, blood work...you know, all the fun things. I haven't been to a doctor since last summer when I was having gallbladder issues, and the doc that I saw then was not the doctor I started my weight-loss journey with, as he had left town to go practice in Germany for a year. Anyway, we switched insurance in September, so I had to start all over with a new doctor. I chose one whom I had heard good things about from a couple of friends.
I think I need some new friends.
I walked in feeling pretty confident - at long last, I knew I wouldn't be dealing with that whole "you need to lose weight" speech from the doctor. I had my list of questions ready (including what was going on with my fat blob), and for the first time in years - nay, decades - I was in a good place with my body. The doctor came in, introduced himself, and noted (because I wrote it down on my intake form) that I had lost 100 pounds. He asked how I did it - I said pretty much counting calories and exercise. Then he asked me if I was planning on losing any more weight. I said yes, I would like to get down to 138. He fiddled with his computer chart (tres cool, btw) and then said "you should weigh 115 pounds."
Now, I weighed in on his scale, fully dressed (in jeans, even), fed and hydrated, at 156 pounds (morning weigh-in at home was 152). So he thinks I need to lose another 40 pounds?!? I was dumbfounded. He barely looked at me - obviously he was referring to a standard weight chart...but still - 115? As is, I am in size 8 pants now. I can't imagine what I would look like at 115! I sputtered something about "I workout and have a lot of muscle, which weighs more than fat" but he didn't respond. At which point I pretty much lost interest in anything else he had to say. I mean, if he can't even SEE that I would resemble a skeleton at 115, why should anything he says have merit? The only way I am going to see 115 pounds on this body is if I have a serious bout with anorexia - and frankly, I've been there once and have no intention of revisiting that again!
I am just stunned that in this day and age of healthy body awareness, I encountered such a clunker of a doctor. I am grateful, however, for the last (nearly) two years that I've spent here in blogland, because I immediately knew that he was full of crap and to neither take his recommended weight seriously, nor let it bother me too much.
You see, one thing that I realized early on in my journey was that the key to making this my last diet was being able to maintain my goal weight without struggling every day. That's why I chose 138 - and that's what I would have told my doctor, had I been given the chance. I suppose I could have fought for my right to speak up, but I was still in shock. The anger came about an hour after I got home, and I started writing this post, but had to stop because I was just making myself even more mad as I wrote it. Plus once I started deleting the cuss words, there wasn't much left, lol!
I got what I needed from that doctor - referrals (as required by my insurance plan) for a mammogram and a visit to the eye doctor, but quite frankly, I don't plan on going back to him. I just don't have the trust necessary to put my health in his hands.