tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post1158944881519548395..comments2024-01-12T05:15:38.548-06:00Comments on My Journey to Fit: DisorderedShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05890227462052573887noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-22415443124773928162012-08-28T13:17:29.145-05:002012-08-28T13:17:29.145-05:00This is such a relatable post Shelley! You are fa...This is such a relatable post Shelley! You are fantastic and I so admire you. OMG...those syncronized swimmers sure contort themselves into freakish positions don't they? Roz @ weightingfor50https://www.blogger.com/profile/01170490131384171109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-17851179665209021922012-08-28T10:04:13.763-05:002012-08-28T10:04:13.763-05:00Understand completely. I don't think it's ...Understand completely. I don't think it's crazy at all. We (me) may have images of what we'd want to look like. But I'm trying to let that go in favor of just being the best ME I can be. And wherever that lands then so be it.Kelly the Happy Texanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05141980277979631252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-38322207302826962692012-08-28T00:17:26.818-05:002012-08-28T00:17:26.818-05:00I can see that stacks of people can relate to you ...I can see that stacks of people can relate to you re this. As can I. <br /><br />I KNOW what I should want and think but can't help yearning for the 'ideal' every so often. <br /><br />I agree with everyone though - we may never get past our disordered thinking and all we can do is manage it as best we can. (And I think you've been doing an amazing job of that!).<br /><br />Deb<br />xDebbishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06305239848096384084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-90500016179779335312012-08-27T21:57:23.450-05:002012-08-27T21:57:23.450-05:00I used to think the disordered weight thinking was...I used to think the disordered weight thinking was just in my mind. It really is scary that thoughts can still creep back in, but it sounds like you are in a good place now Shelley. I have gone through my own issues with binging and starving. We all have to find someway to be happy with ourselves at any weight, but I can't say this is an easy thing to do. I am still learning.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-22687344911131102942012-08-27T14:26:00.241-05:002012-08-27T14:26:00.241-05:00Those hip bones make me think of Avatar. I don...Those hip bones make me think of Avatar. I don't know why. And, it's kind of gross, too thin.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02219457885959637135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-62140965862661004572012-08-27T13:46:54.321-05:002012-08-27T13:46:54.321-05:00Thanks for posting this today. I never felt I had ...Thanks for posting this today. I never felt I had food issues until I got older even now it's hard to admit the difference between a splurge and a binge. <br /><br />and that's a scary pic of that girls hips. wth. BabyWeightMyFatAsshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08872282003431478241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-88399095660689747282012-08-27T13:25:48.285-05:002012-08-27T13:25:48.285-05:00Those things never ever go away. They just get pu...Those things never ever go away. They just get pushed far down or we find better ways to deal with them (or not... )<br /><br />I feel the same way about my thighs and hips. I feel slim and fit and then catch sight of my badonkadonk and feel like the biggest girl in the room - and if only I do X, I will be there. Our minds sure are funny. I read in some book a few years ago that it takes about 4 times as long for our brains to catch up to where our bodies actually are. When you are overweight for many years, that's a lot of catching up to do!Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09781375451012608773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-51653992438910572772012-08-27T12:38:44.682-05:002012-08-27T12:38:44.682-05:00Thank you for sharing this Shelley. As much as I w...Thank you for sharing this Shelley. As much as I work to accept myself right this very second, and, knowing that self-acceptance leaves plenty of room for improvement, there are still times when I "go there" out of desperation and feeling not good enough. And I expect that I will always have these thoughts, but my goal is that they become fewer and farther in between, just like my binge episodes. Instead of saying, "never again," I reassure myself that I will catch myself sooner.~Karen C.L. Anderson~https://www.blogger.com/profile/12079770255834481857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-5728100853092388012012-08-27T11:20:15.442-05:002012-08-27T11:20:15.442-05:00Thanks for this post. I think it's clear that ...Thanks for this post. I think it's clear that the way we program our brains is way harder to change than anything else. It's no more disordered than my thinking I might as well eat however I want and just get fatter because it didn't matter anyway. We all do weird things to ourselves. Moving forward and toward a healthy life for ourselves and doing our best for ourselves is what it is about. We have to be happy in our skin, our lives, our brains. I have to learn to stop comparing myself to others. Easier said than done, my friend. Thanks as always for inspiring so many.Dr. Fat To Fithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14954538312143531261noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-54920881393807025112012-08-27T11:00:05.153-05:002012-08-27T11:00:05.153-05:00I have known several women in my life who have had...I have known several women in my life who have had eating disorders, and in some small way, part of that life never escapes them, but like you, you recognize that it isn't healthy and will still have your fro yo. <br /><br />Love your openness Shelley!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-5010424007437134432012-08-27T09:55:41.715-05:002012-08-27T09:55:41.715-05:00This is so insightful and honest. And you know, w...This is so insightful and honest. And you know, when I saw that picture of the swimmers, I thought it looked wrong. Kind of like 'is that from some horror movie I haven't seen yet?<br /><br />On seeing the hipbones--that was never something I thought about. But as a nurse, we use hipbones as a guide for giving shots. I remember when I lost enough weight that I could feel my hipbones. That was quite a thrill LOL.debbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17967505760808535408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-40499793845713080942012-08-27T09:55:33.110-05:002012-08-27T09:55:33.110-05:00I agree. No matter how different the things we...I agree. No matter how different the things we've experienced in our past, we're all subject to lingering crazy. I'm really proud of you for recognizing it and blogging about it! You're a brave woman and I admire you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11872797810770018861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-15945928476328817392012-08-27T09:32:14.913-05:002012-08-27T09:32:14.913-05:00Holy Cow. I thought I was the only one. The ratio...Holy Cow. I thought I was the only one. The rational half of my brain knows that I can never, ever again be the skinny teen who [barely] survived on four saltines and a apple a day, but occasionally I do think "How long would it take to be a size 4 again if I just quit eating?" Thankfully, mercifully, I'm able to recognize those random zinger thoughts as just that - random thoughts. They're buried in my brain cell archives and occasionally peek out, but I don't need to follow through.<br />Angela Peahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10327445333073683554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-88798746476615209212012-08-27T08:15:09.643-05:002012-08-27T08:15:09.643-05:00To be honest, Shelley, I don't think that is d...To be honest, Shelley, I don't think that is disordered thinking. That is having thought of "what if" and then realizing its not rational and moving on - which is totally sane thinking. Also, it is human nature to want things you can't have (in the moment), like hip bones, or millions of dollars but then we realize that we live the life we are dealt and try to make the best of it. And then we realize that we might not be rich or have stick out of our skin hip bones, but we have amazing families, supportive partners, and our health. <br /><br />Your thinking is more than not disordered, its inspirational. You are so clear in what you go through/have gone though in your journey, and you share it in a very up front way with your loyal readers. You are probably one of the most sane people I (virtually and in reality) know!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-20322655155453664242012-08-27T07:19:59.190-05:002012-08-27T07:19:59.190-05:00If there is any person, ANY PERSON, who has strugg...If there is any person, ANY PERSON, who has struggled with weight issues (anorexia or overweight) and does not have some remnant of disordered thinking EVER, I want to meet them. I mean that. It's no different than someone who has given up any other kind of addiction. I distinctly remember a full year after I had quit smoking, we were at a wedding (and this was back in the day when people smoked any and everywhere) and someone at the next table over lit a cigarette and suddenly the thought popped into my head that it might be OK for me to just have ONE. <br /><br />Of course that was a ridiculous thought but I believe the reason I didn't act on it was because I was so surprised at it's stealthy maneuver into my train of thought. Thankfully I can say 20 years later, I never want a cigarette not ever. But it took me a while to stop thinking about occasionally.<br /><br />Very brave to put this out there my friend. I'm glad you shared your crazy and that you share mine.Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12308631304554235792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-90275991764723153702012-08-27T07:10:13.573-05:002012-08-27T07:10:13.573-05:00Wow - thank you for this post, Shelley. I learned...Wow - thank you for this post, Shelley. I learned a lot about you I didn't know - in the best possible way. I didn't know you were anorexic in high school. I dabbled with anorexia after nursing school for a few years. Hard to imagine.<br /><br />I can't tell you how helpful it is to hear that you still struggle with the wacko thinking at times. It's easy for me to feel "crazier than anyone else" and more effed up with food and eating. What came to mind as I read your post was something that is somewhere in AA literature - that we're never relieved of of ALL our issues, so we have to accept "patient progress". You're the real deal, Shelley. Your progress is remarkable. <br />Lesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12401609334253676307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-36406274957376209042012-08-27T05:29:24.276-05:002012-08-27T05:29:24.276-05:00Hi! My name is Roxie and I have a disordered rela...Hi! My name is Roxie and I have a disordered relationship with food and body image. I'm glad to be in recovery. I know that I am dealing with this on a day-to-day basis and that will never be cured or healed or fixed. <br /><br />Sometimes, it is frightening to have a distorted thought/behavior from the old days rush upon me. And it still happens, even after all of this time. <br /><br />Courageous post, Shelley. Thank you. Roxiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01440676304336222503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-88630328983540012122012-08-27T05:26:00.114-05:002012-08-27T05:26:00.114-05:00and honestly I think all of us are one step away f...and honestly I think all of us are one step away from crazy.<br />it's just we all have different realms.<br /><br />xoxoAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14086887417121838938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067665701316634699.post-85363830252856488122012-08-27T05:08:23.980-05:002012-08-27T05:08:23.980-05:00I think too that some things never disappear, espe...I think too that some things never disappear, especially when you have had these thoughts for such a long time.<br /><br />I also believe that getting a flat stomach is the hardest thing to achieve through eating and exercising. You often say how good I look and I have to agree that my legs look great but like you that stupid stomach is always showing. <br /><br />I can understand your feelings but always remember you have come a long way. You've overcome anorexia and overweight and you look great my friend. It's not just your body but you're a beautiful person from the inside too. Franhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10287705328335828286noreply@blogger.com