Monday, May 1, 2017

@#$%^&*!

This was for sale at the gift shop - while I control my mouth there, I feel like the person in charge of stocking the shop ordered it just for me, LOL.

I confess, I am a cusser.  I swear.  I have a potty mouth and can let loose with a string of expletives like no one's business.  I'd like to blame this on growing up in a sailing club - you've all heard the expression "swear like a sailor" - except that honestly, back then?  I rarely heard a cuss word from the adults except for the occasional "sh*t" that was usually the result of one of the dads hurting himself while loading a boat at the end of a long day.  Of course, us kids would whisper-swear because we weren't allowed to say those words out loud...that was our version of being bad, little rebels that we were.

Yep, pretty accurate.

Cut to adulthood, and cussing entered my vocabulary on a regular basis.  Then I became a mother and had to work at not swearing so much (out loud, anyway).  That worked for a while, although I will say it was pretty funny the first time my three-year-old said "dammit" in an appropriate manner.  I was both proud that he knew when to use that word, and also embarrassed.  But mostly proud.  Judge all you want, I don't care.  He grew up to be a successful member of society, so no damage was done.  Still, I try to watch how I'm speaking around children.  And I'll be honest, I shouldn't be driving with them in the car if we really don't want them to hear any cussing.  That may have been where my children learned the majority of swear words while they were growing up.  OK, it was.  You should hear them drive now - they learned from the best.

From the movie Step-Brothers, starring my future second husband, Will Ferrell.

Friendships have formed over swearing.  For example, take Julia, who I met when we both joined USAFit back in 2010.  I knew she was a teacher and thought she was a nice person, so I was always on my best behavior with her - as I am with anyone I don't know well.  But one morning we happened to be doing a long run together, and it was hot and humid and just plain hard, as are a lot of runs when you hit double digits in miles.  We'd been chatting and then had fallen silent, each just trying to make it through, when suddenly she let out a string of cussing that nearly made me fall down, I was laughing so hard.  And that's when I knew we would be great friends.  For the record, she IS a very nice person; she just knows how and when to cuss, too.

Pretty much everyone in our Renegade Run Club can cuss like a sailor, should the moment arise.  I'm not saying you have to swear to be in our group, but we went back and forth about asking Diane to join us, because she is such a nice person - really, the nicest - and we worried that we'd be too much for her.  Turns out, we needn't have worried...even Diane can let loose with the cussing.  Of course, it's like watching a sweet little kitten cuss, but even the sweetest little kitten can be crossed one too many times and venting needs to happen.  And we love her for it.

Although I use swear words on a daily basis, I rarely use them here, because for me, they work in the moment - which is to say, if I've texted with you, then you've most likely received a @#$%^&*! in a text from me.  My blog posts are written ahead of time, proofread several times, and scheduled for posting, which gives me plenty of opportunities to choose other ways to express myself, should I be experiencing cussing moments that I want to share.

However, that doesn't mean that come 5:02 am on any given Monday, Wednesday, or Friday morning, Paco isn't hearing a @#$%^&*! when I read a newly-published post and see that I've missed a typo.  Luckily, he can't repeat it...although much like when my three-year-old did it, I'd probably laugh if Paco could swear.

35 comments:

  1. You and I are similar swearers, though as I've aged I've tried to cut back. But really, sometimes only a swear word will do!

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    1. Hey, swearing is calorie-free, no need to cut back! ;)

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  2. I've cut back too as I've aged.... My hubby...not so much.

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    1. Well, someone has to keep up, if not you than your husband, LOL!

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    2. I think all of my loved ones hope that will happen here as well.
      So far? not so much :-)

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  3. I was raised in a home where we couldn't even say "fart", so imagine the guilt I feel every time I let a swear fly. And I do swear. The "f" (not fart) has become my favorite work lately, especially after my diagnosis with RA! Nothing else will do.

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    1. I grew up in a home where we "passed gas," too, but all three of us kids grew up to be world-class cussers. Sometimes, only an f (not fart) bomb will do the trick!

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    2. I agree - sometimes the f-bomb, or the m-f bomb, just fits.

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  4. We TOTALLY just became best friends!!! I swear like a m$%^f#*er, but not in public (too much). Well, my personal blog has plenty of f-bombs, but my professional blog has zero. I, too, decide how much I'm going to like somebody based on how much they swear! :) Thank you for writing this, it seriously made my day.

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    1. LOVE IT, Pahla!! Too funny. Swearing twinkies, we are. :)

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  5. I have a very good public filter (that's what a respiratory therapist I used to work with told me.) If my dogs could talk they would tell you otherwise. Also, car language... I blame my bad language on working with some unfiltered dog groomers. 40 years ago. and I can't stop...

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    1. Hah, I bet Sophie knows a lot of swear words! Love the public filter term. :)

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  6. I wouldn't have guess you wear a big swearer. I bet you are fun to be around!

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    1. One run with me and you'd know just how much I swear, LOL.

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    1. No - I thought about it, I laughed when I saw it, but I'm saving my money for other fun stuff.

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  8. I have no excuse for swearing in my blog, and yet somehow it seems the "real" me so I let loose. But be assured, in real life I'm even more foul-mouthed.

    I wonder if it's as fun for people who are younger to swear as it is for us? Part of the charge I get out of it is that when we grew up, you almost NEVER heard the words, and certainly not on every cable channel ever few minutes. By now our most shocking obscenities probably sound as quaint as "gosh darn it!" did to us.

    --Crabby

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    1. Now see, I've spoken with you and nary a cuss word was uttered by either of us - oh, how different those conversations could have been!

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  9. Right there with you, I'm a bit of a potty mouth myself. Dennis says that it has become worse since Donald Trump took office and is in the news. Apparently, I don't even realize I says "f*&l off" to the tv when there are reports of his antics. Charming....so classy, and so much for being a polite Canadian. LOL!!!

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    1. Oh, I hear ya on the Trump cussing. I practically get Tourette's when I talk about him.

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  10. Fellow potty-mouth here, Shelley :-) I worked in public schools, though, so had to wear the cuss-filter regularly. Hubby and I were pretty careful around the kids as well. Oldest son was in the Navy and therefore licensed to cuss like a sailor Younger son got to go on a Tiger Cruise with his bro and a boatful of professionals and came home spouting like he was born to it. Princess can certainly hold her own as well, so family gatherings can be pretty salty! I have great respect for a well-placed f-bomb when the situation calls for it. What a fun topic for a Monday - put a smile on my face!

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    1. Your family sounds fun - I loved hearing about them, Emmaclaire! :)

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  11. My normal speech is peppered with swear words all the time, but I do try to keep a lid on it in public LOL, and off the blog. Sometimes only a swear will make your point.

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  12. Um, I had no idea that you were a fellow cusser! Sometimes when I drop F-bombs in my posts and you comment (meaning, I know you read it), I hope that I haven't offended you! Good to know that I haven't! :)

    My parents don't really swear, and my mom doesn't think too highly of it, so oddly enough I picked up my potty mouth in Catholic schools! My super Catholic Grandma would always say "pimple on your tongue" anytime we'd swear around her. She also made up her own cute phrases in lieu of swearing, like "Oh fudgy nut bars!"

    I like how you guys debated about whether or not you'd be too much for Diane... it is kind of weird to get that first swear out of the way with someone new.

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    1. Haha, I'm not offended, plus you use your swear words appropriately. :)

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  13. Ha, yep - guilty!! And now that Hannah is 25, and she'll swear "the f*ing mailman is at the front door!" I quietly smile - that's my girl!

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  14. Ha, I have a list of ideas to blog about and one of them was how I swear too much. I swear way too much around people I am comfortable with and would like to use actual words from time to time! HA!

    I have some friends that seem so nice and I never swear around them. I wonder if any of them are like Diane ;)

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    1. It's funny, how you just think some friends would never swear, but I bet they drop a f-bomb now and then...

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  15. Hmmm am I the only one that hardly swears? Of course when I hurt my foot by hitting the table the sh*t word comes out of my mouth but besides that, I don't swear a lot. Neither does R.

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    1. Not even in Dutch? I mean, you could come here and swear in Dutch and no one would know... ;)

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    2. Well I use the sh*t word, it's pretty common here, also d*mn is used here. Guess we took over the "right" words from the English language LOL

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