First things first. LINDA CAME BACK TODAY!!!!! Ahhh - all is right in my little corner of the world! Her mom is tolerating chemo very well, so Linda is easing her way back by working one day a week - Wednesdays just became my happy day! Not only are we friends, but she knows me and my limits (and how far I actually *can* go) and she really pushes me to do my absolute best in the cardio room, even when I am thinking "there is no way I can do this" - but guess what? I can.
Today, because Linda knows I would like to run a 5K someday (she thinks I am a lot closer to being able to run it than I do), the treadmill was all mine. Can you believe that I jogged for 14 minutes?!? That's how long it took me to hit a mile (apparently I need to up the pace just a bit) - I haven't run a mile since early October, before we left for our vacation and Linda left to care for her mother. She says that when we run together outdoors, my pace is faster (my last mile came in around 11 minutes). I am really surprised that I had it in me - and this was after the gym workout, no less! So yeah, feeling pretty good about this.
The other cool thing I did this week was a circuit workout - Monday and Tuesday concentrated on the lower body and today worked the upper body. I don't know why, but I like doing the upper body stuff a lot! I did a ton of triceps dips, chest presses, curls...all sorts of fun things. And I felt so strong while doing them - it really is empowering to me. After a workout like I had today, I feel ready to conquer the world!
Ok, see these cool new running shoes? I bought them in October when we were visiting my parents before we went to Maui. They have the greatest outdoor/fitness/shoe store in their little town, where the owners measure your feet nine ways to Sunday and then choose the shoe for you - there is no "oooh, that one looks cute, let me try it on" in this store, lol! But I have gotten several pairs of shoes over the years from this store and they all have been supercomfortable, so I don't mind.
Well, I bought these shoes for running. They have a solid sole and while I tried wearing them one time to my workout, they didn't have enough flexibility for all of the crazy things Brad has us do, so I went back to my Asics for those days. And with Linda being gone, running wasn't stressed as much as it is when she's in charge of cardio. So the new shoes have stayed in my closet.
What I want to know is why the heck haven't I put the darn things on and gone for a run in my neighborhood? Why can't I get myself to (apologies to Nike) JUST DO IT?!? I am reminded of myself in the very early days of my diet, when exercising consisted of riding my bike a couple of laps around my very long cul-de-sac. It took so much mental preparation to actually get on the bike - I had to psych myself out of the thoughts that my neighbors were watching, judging and criticizing me. I was so embarrassed to be seen exercising - I just knew that people were thinking "who does that fat woman think she's kidding - a couple of laps isn't going to help" (why yes, I am very good at putting words into other people's mouths, tyvm). And I kind of feel like that with regard to running in public - I'm not fast, I end up taking walking breaks, I'm panting like a dog on a hot day, and I still look all jiggly-like when I run. I just wish I could break out of the self-conscious trap I let myself get stuck in and go for a run. Any suggestions (besides the obvious "go for a freakin' run, already!")?