Alternate title: When Will I Ever Learn?!?
I count calories. I plan my meals. So when I knew I would be eating dinner Saturday night at a local BBQ joint, I ate nothing all day so that I could have the BBQ and still be in good standing, calorie-wise. Sounds like a winning plan, no? Sigh. The following story is rated "R" for Really Bad Idea.
The night started out good. I was wearing my cute new smaller-sized clothes. I felt great. The weather was damp and cold, and we rushed into the restaurant to meet a bunch of friends and spend some time together celebrating a birthday.
What looked good on the menu that cold evening? Mmmmm, baked potato topped with BBQ. I haven't had a baked potato in a long time, much less BBQ! So I ordered it and let me just tell you, it was huge. Like, Texas-sized. Did it even occur to me to oh, I don't know...split it with my husband? Of course not! I dug right in, and kept digging, and digging...I swear, just the BBQ alone was more than enough, but I had to have the potato as well. It was not pretty. I actually felt more full after that meal than I did after Thanksgiving! Some small modicum of sanity finally kicked in and I didn't finish the potato, but it wasn't for lack of trying, I assure you.
I had instant regret. Well, not instant. I guess that would have been if I'd changed my order before the mother-of-all-potatoes appeared before me. But geez, what is wrong with me?!? I KNOW what a normal portion looks like. I do this on a daily basis. I also know that I can't save all of my calories for one meal - that would be too much food (unless it was a really decadent dessert...but I digress). I get really frustrated with myself that even though I have lost all this weight, I still don't get it. I mean, I know that snacking on cookies, fudge, pie, etc. all day is bad for my diet, and I can usually control myself. But to get such a huge portion and not think "oh hey, this is too much for one meal so I better divide it up and only eat a normal amount" - it just makes me wonder if I will ever get it.